CAMBODIA
I always wanted to go.
3 years ago I selected my original route so that I had a chance to experience and do ministry in that country. It intrigued me. I can’t truly explain why. Elephants? Maybe. Angkor Wat? Probably. Rice Fields? Sure. The culture? Why not? But I really couldn’t pin point why I felt the draw there that I had always had.
Interestingly enough, when I talked to past racers and picked their brains about the elusive country, there response was less than positive. But that did not deter me. I knew, I was meant to go to Cambodia.
So you can imagine my disappointment, when at the end of month 4 of my race (the month right before I would have ventured to Cambodia) I went home for 5 weeks to heal from a relentless case of Dengue… That’s right. 5 weeks. I missed all of K squads stay in Cambodia.
I was tired, I was sick, but dude, I was also pissed. “God, you KNOW I super wanted to go to Cambodia… why am I not there right now, and my squad is???”
His response, “I will take you there with the right people, at the right time.”
Ugh. Fine.
Fast forward 9 months. I had returned to the field and finished out my time with K squad. I had also been accepted to squad lead and had just arrived to the training where I would be assigned which squad I would get to partner with and travel with. My fingers were crossed for a route that stopped in Cambodia… It didn’t happen.
I was partnered with the lovely C squad, who in their first 5 month went to only Latin American countries and didn’t even hit any Asian countries. Looking back I see now why the Lord had me lead them and the incredible ways that experience shaped me, but at the time I was royally bummed. I wanted to go to Cambodia, and, since I didn’t know I’d be squad leading again, I figured this was my last shot… at least for a long time.
“God, wwwwhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!………”
His response, “I will take you there with the right people, at the right time.”
Ugh. Fine.
Fast forward once again. This time only 5 months into the future. In fact, it was only 3 days after returning from the field with C squad when this surprise opportunity arose. I was called to squad lead again… training to start in 2 days time… yikes! But I said yes, and boy, am I glad I did.
When I first met with my leadership team my co-leader, Tera, asked the question that was weighing on my mind… “What countries are we going to?”
I sat in eager anticipation as our mentor, Teresa, listed the countries we were to visit with J squad. As she got further on in reading the list, my high hopes lowered with every country mentioned… Were they cool countries? Yes! Was I super blessed to be able to be able to travel and minister to the amazing places and people? Beyond blessed! Did I still want to go to Cambodia? Absolutely.
And I got my wish! I remember hearing Teresa tell us that we would be finishing off our time with the squad in Cambodia and I. Freaked. Out.
I loved my time on the field with J squad for a number of reasons. But the one that pertains to this blog is that, after years of yearning, I was going to Cambodia. It would be the last month I was to spend on the field with J squad. So, in my head, it was what would surely end up being a perfect ending.
But it wasn’t.
The final month of my 21 months on the field was challenging. My body had giving up after being sick or injured in every country (no exaggeration). It just rejected strange food (causing me to vomit nearly every night), my restful nights of sleep were few and far between, and focusing, or even forming thoughts into words, had become a regular struggle in conversations.
Emotionally, I was drained as well. Some things happened the beginning of that month that weighed heavy on the squad, us SQLs were visiting new teams, we were training the raised-up SQLs, and there were a few things that called for my attention at home. In addition to that, almost ironically, I was worrying myself with the fact that I was in my last month on the field.
On the surface, none of these things were really adding up to a perfect ending.
However, through all these issues, I loved my final month with J squad. To see their growth made my heart glow. To see how they were loving each other and supporting each other was so encouraging. Their compassion enlivened me. Their desire to learn and spread Jesus brought genuine joy.
They saw a tired squad leader, and turned her into a cared for friend. They hugged me through my tears. Laughed with me through my brain farts. And were truly the “right people” that God intend I journeyed through Cambodia with.
In this stressful month, Cambodia had become, for me, a land of fulfilled promises. A place where I had been striving and struggling to get to, a country God placed on my heart from the beginning. A country, that had inspired me to do missions work in the first place. And although I was struggling, everything around me served as a constant reminder of the way that God cares for his children and follows through with his promises.
I had been obedient in stepping out, and going, and doing the thing… and the Lord rewards and honors obedience. So in a time where I was struggling with persevering, in a situation where I was sick and drained, when I, honestly, didn’t feel like being obedient, he took me to the “right place” at the “right time” to remind me I’m seen, I’m loved, I’m cared for…
And that He always fulfills His promises.
(Village Ministry, Teaching English, Ankgor Wat, Leadership Team)
