Cambodia April 28th, 2017 – Sometime after dark
*Awakening: 2 years ago, a former racer (now Staff) had a vision of world racers, from all different stages of the race, gathering together for a weekend of worship, ministry, prayer & community. This year, his vision came to life. The Cambodia Awakening (of which I now write about) is only the 2nd of it’s kind. Racers in Month 5, 8, and 10 gathered together as a collective body for 3 days in Siem Reap, Cambodia. Below is my Awakening Experience.
As we climb up to the roof for our final session, each soggy footstep leaving a trail of red mud behind; I glance up at the sky and wonder when the brewing storm will finally break free. With limited overhead shelter, we huddle together on the ground, squishing against the stage as the worship team struggles to keep their gear safe & dry. The music begins and 180 world racers rise to their feet, but still I remain.
All day I’d struggled: fighting the urge to hide out in my air conditioned room, avoiding the Cambodian heat and the sessions of which, I was sure, held no value for me. Entering month 10 had brought little excitement or joy, with my only source of comfort being the plane ticket that awaited me after 7 more weeks of misery. In fact, that was exactly what I had done the previous day.
But today was different, despite long surpassing “burn out” and having settled comfortably in apathy, part of me still clung to the belief that there was still “more” to my World Race experience. I wanted that “more”, and I was going to get it.
The song changed and I was on my feet, with one purpose, to remove myself from the comfortable, safe & dry bubble I was hiding in. I stepped out from underneath the shelter, into the pouring rain, and made my way to the balcony edge. The sky cracked with lightning and rain pelted my face as I lifted my arms to the heavens and began to weep as those around me sang “Oh How He Loves”
I didn’t want this. I didn’t want this apathy. I wanted Jesus. I wanted to feel his heartbeat. I wanted to burn with passion for the things that break his heart. I wanted that fire within me, that forced me into heavenly action.
As the voices of 180 world racers, singing of the Father’s love, soared through the air, drowning out the chaos of the villages below; I fell to my knees. With my head pressed against the ground, tears + rain pooling beneath me, I surrendered this apathetic heart of mine to the Father.
Gone were the pointless prayers of “I can’t do this” or “I don’t want this”, as petitions for help & giving God permission to move were offered up instead. When I finally lifted my head, I saw for the first time how intensely God was pursuing his sons & daughters, my fellow racers. All around me they stood soaked with tears + rain, arms flung wide, eyes facing the heavens, worshiping & crying out to the Lord. Others knelt, in the midst of puddles, their faces pressed to the ground, in fervent prayer with God.
This is why we are here; this is the “Awakening”.
**Stay tuned for Part 2! **
“People were already lining the sides of the pool, laughing nervously, praying away jitters, and celebrating the transformations that were about to take place. Suddenly, my safe little corner in the back with the shielded view of the pool wasn’t good enough. I wanted to be closer. I needed to be closer.
Before I knew what was happening I was seated alongside dozens of others, swirling my feet through the warm water, wondering what it would be like to jump in and say yes?”
P.S I’m FULLY FUNDED!!! Thank you so much everyone!!
