I’m not going to lie, I’ve been floundering aimlessly since training camp. As if I’m trying to wade upstream, fighting the current with every step I take. And if you know anything about that, you’ll know it sure isn’t easy. It’s rough. It’s tiring. It’s challenging. It’s essentially the exact opposite of what the world tells us we should be doing.
I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m empty. And I find myself sitting here wondering how on earth I ended up in this place. A place of doubt. A place of questioning. A place of worry. As time ticks by, and I look at my situation in life … well it’s hard not to let the stupid voice of doubt creep in. I say stupid because I know better, but I still find myself listening to it from time to time.
“What if I don’t raise the money?”
“What if I have to push my trip back?”
“What if I have to go home?”
“What if no one shows up to my bowling fundraiser?”
“What if I launch on the field with no emergency money?”
“What if I heard God wrong?”
But as I push through these dark and mucky waters, I’m consistently finding God in the littlest of places. Last year, well before I was accepted onto the WR, I had planned a trip to Idaho/California to roadtrip Cali with a friend. She planned it all out and my job was simply to show up, navigate, and make a playlist of jam worthy tunes. And when I flew out here last week, I had no idea the kind of challenges and supernatural experiences I’d find waiting for me.
Simply getting to Los Angeles was an adventure in itself, and what should have been a 12 hour drive turned into a 3 day ordeal, with one attack after another. But once we made it to LA, things began to turn around. I got to see my little brother. We visited an awesome little church in downtown LA (Zion 61!) We were treated to a brazillian pizza place with some of the strangest and most delicious combinations of pizza I’ve ever had. But most importantly, my spirit was rejoicing. I was suddenly thrust into this church surrounded by people with similar hearts, passions, and this unexplainable love for this strange girl they had just met. From the moment I walked into that building, I knew this was a church I had to stay connected with. This was my west coast home.
The members & leaders poured into me time and time again. I had 6 different people, at separate times, in separate places pray over me, all touching on the same 3 key areas I was struggling in. And each and every encounter I had was confirmation, after confirmation. After spending 6 hours with the church leadership, I felt refreshed, loved, covered in prayer, and confident in God’s plan for me over this next year.
I know I’m called to this trip.
I know I’m leaving in August.
I know I’m doing ministry with the 41 individuals I met in Georgia.
I know God will show up.
I know God will provide.
It reminds me of a word someone prayed over me towards the end. This battle upstream of mine — well God’s given me a canoe. A slick canoe that glides through the water much easier and quicker than little ole me. And the water’s not just challenges and trials, but it’s filled with provision, blessing, and gifts from the Lord. I may not have had my canoe at the beginning of this trip, but now I’m gliding along ready to face any challenges thrown my way, and accept all the blessings and provision God has waiting for me.
Believing for finances has always been difficult for me, and the main source of my anxiety and worry the last 2 months. But I’m constantly reminded of the times in the past when God showed up, and showed off. He’s always come through for me, and he will continue to do so no matter what things look like in the natural. So I’m going to Serbia, I’m going to share my testimonies of healing, redemption, salvation, and love with the people. I’m going to bless my hosts. I’m going to build lasting relationships with my team & the locals. I’m going to find those that feel invisible and show them that they’re not. I’m going to be obedient, because God told me to go. I’m going because some people can’t go, but I can.
One thing I’ve heard a lot of lately is “Wow, that sounds incredible. But I can’t just pack up and go like that”. If you’re finding yourself with a heart of missions, or a passion for expanding the kingdom of God but unable to leave your hometown right now. Don’t feel bad! God can use you where you are. And if you still want to support missions, and you still want to see the kingdom expand around the world. Consider supporting those that are going in your place. Every person that supports a missionary, or a minister of the gospel, gets credit with the Father in heaven. None of the lives we touch can happen without your support. So I ask you, if you’re unable to go — pray about sending someone in your stead. Support a missionary, whether or not it’s me, support one. Send them out in your place. Don’t leave them to struggle wading upstream. Equip them with a canoe, and encourage them as they spread the gospel.
If you’d like to support me, I’m still in need of $3,500 in 9 days. I have until 8am on August 5th to reach my $10,000 deadline. Please pray about supporting me financially, and if you’re unable to do so, please please please pray for me. Trusting God to provide nearly $4k in 9 days is definitely stretching me. But I’m fully confident and expectant in him. Pray for obedient & generous hearts, open minds, and that more than enough funds come in, and quickly.
BOWLING + SILENT AUCTION FUNDRAISER
If you’re near the Madison area, I’m hosting a bowling + silent auction fundraiser at Schwoeglers in Madison on August 1st. Tickets cost $15 per person or $60 for a lane (maximum 5 people) this gets you unlimited bowling during the event + shoe rental. We’ll be there from 6pm-8:30pm so come on out, bring all your friends and please SHARE the event with everyone you know. The more people the merrier, plus the closer we get to hitting that fundraising goal.
All the love,
Molly
