As I was getting ready to leave work this evening, I took a few minutes to warm up my car and scroll through facebook. One of my highschool classmates just closed on her house tonight and while I am thrilled for her, it kind of made me jealous. And I realized I’ve been getting jealous quite frequently lately.
A few weeks ago a coworker got engaged.
A close friend sent out “Save the Dates” for her wedding.
My best friend is about to expand her family with a sweet little boy.
And me? Well, I’m a smidge jealous, not going to lie. But it’s made me stop and reexamine my life, what I want, and what I feel God’s calling me to.
And suddenly I’m not so jealous anymore.
For years I’ve always felt like I didn’t quite fit in with this whole ‘American Dream’. I didn’t understand the whole go to college, find a husband, buy a house, and have babies. Doesn’t mean I didn’t want all of those things, but for some reason they just didn’t seem to fit with, well, me.
I never went to a “real” college, instead choosing to spend 2 years sitting under some incredible ministers and soaking up the word of God. After which I graduated and high-tailed it to Ireland as a missionary for a year. I know people say “a year abroad will change your life” but this did more than just change me, it showed me where I truly belonged. And for a while I mistook that to mean I belonged in Ireland. While I’ll always have a special place in my heart for Ireland, I’m not confident that that’s where God is calling me to. What I do know is that he’s called me to the mission field, with a focus on Europe.
When I look at what I’m about to do, the future God has laid out before me, I’m terrified. I’m astounded. I’m ecstatic. I’m nervous. I’m overjoyed.
Being a missionary is a great privilege and honor, and I know that this is what I’m meant to do because I know God’s called me to it. Well that and the year I spent as a missionary was simultaneously the most challenging and satisfying year of my life. I’ve never felt so at home in any position, anywhere across the globe, as I did serving God abroad.
If the American Dream isn’t for me, then what is? How about settling down overseas as an established missionary, serving God and his people in love. How about building a safe house and gathering up all the hurt and forgotten children and showering them with love. How about building meaningful relationships with the locals and sharing Jesus with them through not only my words, but my actions.
These are only a few of my dreams, but for now, how about traveling the world sharing the love of Jesus with every person I meet? How about journeying to distant villages, scouring the dark alleys, and stepping into dangerous situations to seek out those forgotten by society?
So while my former classmates and friends are fulfilling their dreams, it’s time for me to fulfill mine. It’s time for me to embrace God’s call on my life and step out onto the mission field once more.
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