This week I’ve been writing my support letters… or at least trying to write a support letter. Its interesting how just when you need to do something, everything else on the planet seems to be more important or at the very least more interesting than the the thing you need to do. Its interesting, but I’m versed enough in the art of procrastination to know that its not surprising.
When I finally wrote my first draft, my sister was nice enough to give me some notes. The first note had this thought, “it still doesn’t get at what’s in your heart that is leading you to go on this mission, though. I know it’s about more than playing with orphans and teaching English – make it more about that.” —Cue existential crisis–
What’s in my heart? Why am I doing this? This is crazy. There are so many reasons why this is a bad idea. Shall I list them? 1) I’m an anthropology student but in nine months, I’m going to be a missionary. 2) I’m leaving my family. 3) I’m going to miss my nephew’s first birthday and Finding Dory. These are just a few reasons. So many have been swirling around my head this week.
But just when you least expect it, God catches you by surprised.
I work at a facility for teens that have issues. Most of them have crappy pasts and are working hard to get over them. Teaching to social skills to teenage girls which brings its own challenges and stresses especially when my girls don’t want the help. Every once in a while though, my girls show me that they have so much more to teach me than I could ever teach them. Last night, some of the girls went out of the facility on an outing of sorts. While they were gone, one of my girls witnessed a male and female couple panhandling. The woman was pregnant. Upon their return, this particular girl was talking to me about what she saw and it was clear her heart was breaking. She spoke about how it was unfair and wondered about what would happen to them. I tried to comfort her and inform her that there are places the couple could go and people who could help them. With tears still in her eyes, I could hear her sorrow clear my head. I could feel God’s peace still my heart.
This is why I’m doing this. Because there is hurt in the world. There are injustices. But that does not mean its hopeless. God can use me to help people. He can use me to bring peace and love to those who feel neither by society. I am doing this because he loves me and therefore, I need to love others.
