At work sometimes, my girls have time to journal. They journal whatever is going on, song lyrics, about therapy, or draw pictures. A while ago I started coming up with journal topics for them to use if they can’t come up with something on their own.
If you could have dinner with any three people throughout history, who would you chose and why?
Write a letter to your future self.
Tell the story of a brave girl whose best friend is a bird.
What is your favorite kind of quiet?
The last one stops a lot of the girls up. “How can you have a favorite kind of quiet isn’t there just one?” they ask. So I list some of my favorites: the quiet after the ending chord of a concerts when the crowd is still, the silent stillness of a winter night, the quiet time when I’m with my Grandpa and I just try to memorize the sound his breathing.
This week I got a call from my mobilizer and she asked what God been doing in my life?
What have I learned?
I told how this fundraising thing is hard. Throughout this whole process, I’ve had complete faith that the money is going to be there. God is going to provide. For someone with some trust issues when it comes to God, this is supernatural. Its weird for me just to believe without reason or logic to back me up. But I do. I know God is going to provide me with a way to go on this trip.
Still, that doesn’t me that everyone around me has been blessed with the same supernatural peace I have been given. “Wow, that’s a lot of money”, “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up and then not be able to go”, and “maybe you should call Warren Buffet(Omaha’s resident billionaire)”, are all comments and concerns that have been said to me in the last couple of weeks. Its wearing to know that God will provide but knowing that your next year is depend on the generosity of others. If I think too hard, these small voices of concern turn to shouts of doubt. “People don’t have money to give,” “They won’t give you money to just spend a year traveling,” “There are so many people that could write a check and you’d be done fundraising, and they’re not going to”… Its gets really loud in my head with the war of peace and doubt going on. Then I look at the list of supporters and I am amazed.
The financial contributions just keep trickling into my account. Nickels and dimes at garage sales, tee shirt sales here and there, family and friends sacrificing their comfort to give me an opportunity to be used by God. God’s not doing this in one fell swoop. He’s being quiet. He’s encouraging his followers one by one to help, warming their hearts, calming their minds.
With each new contributions I feel God’s love me like a hug from my Grandpa: warm, strong, protective. His love whispers:
“I love you and this is right. You deserve to see the world I have made and I will help you do it. Through me you will do things you have only dreamed about.”
The supernatural peace returns and brings with it a conviction to keep working. Keep trying to reach the goal he has set and to relaying on God like a trust fall.
I have another kind of quiet to add to my list: Quiet like God’s consistent love.
