Reality hasn’t set in yet: 11 countries in 11 months?! What kind of craziness am I getting myself into? I know…the kind that has me on my knees trusting in nothing but the strength of Christ. The kind that has me doubting that He really wants me on this trip when I look at my support account. The kind that convicts me when I do doubt the power of Christ when I look at my support account, as God, my Abba, sweetly whispers the words of Proverbs 3 into my head…”Trust in ME, lean on MY understanding.” The kind that has me living with my teammates in close community 24/7. The kind that has me living out of a backpack for a year. The kind that will cause me to care about nothing but the needs of others around me. THAT is the kind of craziness I am getting myself into. To be honest with you I would not want any other kind of craziness in my life for the next year.
As i am writing this, i am excited and ready for the World Race, but i don’t always have days like this. There are many days where i am not ready.
Where i am scared.
Where i am insecure.
Where i am not confident in myself.
Do i really have what it takes?
No i don’t, but I AM does. (Exodus 3:14)
i have been reading about the life of Moses the past few days. Oh, how i have been able to identify with him! i can’t imagine what was going on in Moses’ mind when he saw that burning bush that was NOT being consumed by fire. Not only that, but then God started talking to him out of that bush. God gave him a great task. “Come, I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring my people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt.” (Exodus 3:10) But Moses hesitated. In my mind, Moses was looking around to make sure he was the one God was talking to.
Then, the sweet words come in verse 12. ‘He said, “But I will be with you..” There it was. The assurance that God would be with him. Reading this I want to scream and shout…"Hello?? Moses?? God said HE would be with you!! Now you definitely know you can do this!”
BUT, i find myself exactly in the place that Moses was after God told him to go. God has placed it in my heart to go around the world for 11 months to serve, love, and do whatever i can to show people the love of Jesus for 11 months. i will be doing a variety of things, one of which will cause me to speak in front of people.
i hate speaking in front of people.
That is why i avoided public speaking in college. i will most likely be preaching some Sundays or sharing my testimony (probably multiple times) with a group of people who will vary in ages, and i find myself speaking the exact words Moses spoke to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” (Exodus 4:10)
i am not confident in Molly Brandenburgh alone to speak to these people, but i am confident in the ability of I AM to speak through me. I cling on to the words that the Lord spoke to Moses as i begin this journey: “Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? It is not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” (Exodus 4:11-12)
I AM will do a work in me.
I AM will use me to proclaim His gospel to the nations.
I AM will be with me.
Never changing, never failing, all powerful, I AM. And THAT is something that I can and will trust in. Even on my “off” days. I can’t cling to my emotions. I HAVE to cling to the truth that is in scripture.
“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12)
This is what i know, this is what i cling to, and the enemy will not take this TRUTH away from me!
