So this blog has been on my heart for a while but I guess I didn’t know how to put it in words. First I am overwhelmed by the support I have received lately. From the yard sale to supporters I don’t know, it’s amazing to see the Lords work. I am almost 40%, which is so amazing. A long way to go and a lot more supporters but I am blown away by this amount of money. Until I was forced to fundraise I never realized the number of people that cared so deeply for me.
I am continually asked why I am going on the World Race. And most of the time I give a fluff answer. I say, “yeah corporate America isn’t for me yet.” Or “I get to travel the world” or “I am called to help others.” All of these answers are true but they tell you nothing. I often divert this question and talk about how the Peace Corps wasn’t for me or how I could not go to Africa right now. I never give the answer that’s on my heart. I give what I think people want to hear. These next paragraphs will try to explain why deep down I am going. I first will tell my calling story and then tell you why I am going. Raw and real. No fluff. Just me on this page.
So I can’t write my whole calling story because you would be bored but I will give you the short version. I was in Nicaragua building a church at the time and it was our last day so the pastor for the new church came and had a service for us. In the middle of our dirt road more than 50 people gather to hear this sermon. I was blown away. As I try really hard to get the idea of the sermon the sermon ends and the pastor asks us to bow our heads and pray. Then something happened, I didn’t even know could. Instead of the pastor praying everyone started praying. Different things, different languages but to one God. I suddenly felt something I had never experienced before. The Lords presence was right there in the air. I was again blow away. The Lord could hear all 50 prayers at once. 50 prayers in Spanish, English, tongues all heard by one God. LIKE WOAHHHH crazy right?
So that night I lie in bed crying and praying to the Lord. What is next? Lord give my a sign? Now let me remind you I am a 2nd semester senior trying to find a job so to pray for the Lord to tell me what to do was a big deal. I suddenly gave up full control. The Lord that night kept putting the word “go” in my mind. But of course that’s all he put. Not “Mollie, go on the World Race” no just the word “go”. The Lord has a sense of humor sometimes. So I come home to America that next day sort of closed off. Faking that I was enjoying my sorority bids day but really just wanting to tell someone what happened.
So that night I get on Facebook and can’t sleep and suddenly I get a message from my friend who is in India at the time. Now mind you its 2am before my last first day of classes but whateves. My friend Paige was on the World Race at the time month 7. I was jealous of her life but it was something I could never do. Raise all that money and devote your life to service and the Lord with just a backpack. Like sorry I love my clothes too much. But we are messaging back and forth and I tell her the story of feeling the Lord in prayer. She then tells me how she always knew I would find the World Race. How she has been praying for me to find the World Race all this time.
Ok yeah I was and still am as shocked as you were. But still a skeptic I prayed and said I am only going on the World Race if you give me the perfect route. 2 weeks later when January 2015 routes came out I called my mom and said I am going on the World Race. An all Spanish route to Central and South America came out and I knew I was going to be on it.
So now, I am here going on the World Race. Less than 2 months before I leave.
Why? First I obviously feel called to it. This is where I am supposed to be. But I also have some super selfish reasons for going. I want to, for only the 2nd time in my life, rely fully on the Lord. I have had this song called “Oceans” by Hillsong on my computer on repeat for a while now. The words speak to me “ Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Take me deeper than my feel could ever wander.” I want to stand in the middle of the road in Columbia and pray to God and he guides me to someone to pray for. I want to rely on God for fundraising efforts. I want to see sick people healed because I couldn’t rely on medicine and only could pray.
Within this I want to know the Lord deeper. I want to hang out with him everyday. I want to talk to him. Selfishly I want 11 months with him and no distractions.
I am going on the World Race because I want to love orphans. I want to snuggle and watch movies with them. Orphans do not feel the same love that I do. I want to tell them about Jesus and that Jesus loves them. There are people in this world that I hope to fall deeply in love with and give them hope.
The World Race is all about community. Community living, eating, sleeping. I WANT IT ALL. Crying in my teammates arms because I had to leave a ministry and people I love with all my heart. Eating off one plate. Sleeping in a few tents. Alone time in only the bathroom. Yeah its not going to be easy but it will be worth it. To know that I have 30 people in my corners that I can call on at all times is what I crave.
I want to spend the year helping others but really them helping me too. Every time I give back, I get way more than that. I get perspective. I get love. There is so much more to every service and mission trip. While we may build a latrine, these people will remind me what simplicity looks like. What love looks like. What giving truly looks like. I want that day in and day out. I want to give these people how too. I want them to learn and become Gods children but I want to learn something in return.
I want to give up comforts. I know that I can live out of just my backpack but I want to do it. Live life dirty. Dirty clothes, dirty hair but clean undapants of course. But to live just me and my bag is the adventure I crave.
So maybe this isn’t what you wanted to read. Maybe you wanted to me to say that I wanted to go on this trip just to help others or for the adventure or travel. And yeah those are reasons but I want to share my heart to you. Share the reasons that I have had a hard time saying in person. So here it is. Love it or hate it that’s me.
On a truly lighter note yesterday was World Race day. Thank you all so much for donating or praying or just remembering what I am doing. To celebrate at my house we had a typical Latin American dinner. Rice, beans, plantains, chicken and of course TANG. Delish and so fun.
If you feel called to give money or to give more please help me on this fundraising journey. I am so blessed and am feeling through this fundraising. Thank you all who have supported. Almost 40% there and rising!!!
Love always,
Mols
