Well, it’s been a minute since I have blogged- so I thought I would update you on life as of lately. In all honesty, it’s been messy. But oh my word, it’s been good- and God has been teaching me so much. Not only has He been teaching me about life, but in these lessons, He has been preparing me for life on the race as well. He never ceases to amaze me in how intimately He pursues me.
(**As I update you on life, I am going to be vague in some areas to protect the privacy of some, so bare with me. It’s only fair, because it’s not all my story to tell.**)
Lately, I’ve been running. From one place to another, to do this- or that, to mark one more thing off of the to-do list or spend time with people who are precious to me. While I love doing all of this, and it gives me so much joy- it all came to a quick halt. I found myself in the emergency room with a family member who has been fighting battles that I don’t understand for a long time. Battles that the rest of us have been trying to fight for this person, battles that seem endless, battles that sometimes seem hopeless. After hours of tests, and near death calls multiple times, we found ourselves in the ICU- waiting.
As the roller coaster of emotions flooded my body as I sat there waiting, I starting thinking about how everything in life is a choice.
We have the choice to fight, or give up.
We have the choice to choose joy or give in to the lie that there is no hope.
We have the choice to fight for life or let death win.
We have to choice to push people towards something better or quit when we get too tired.
We have the choice to see the good or get weighed down by the bad.
We have the choice to enjoy the life we have been given or focus on all that’s wrong.
We have the choice to come before the throne and ask for direction or give in when it’s out of our hands.
We have the choice to give it to the One who sees and knows, or carry it on our own.
As I sat here and pondered these choices, it’s almost as if God was drawing near to me. It’s as if He was making His presence known and it was up to me to grab ahold of it, or continue on my own strength.
I feel like in a lot of ways the revelation of these choices have helped my perspective as I prepare for the race.
I can’t do any of this on my own.
I can't change the world, Jesus can- I am just thankful He is letting me be a part.
I don’t have all the answers, in fact I have very few- but He does.
And He gives me the option each morning to choose
Joy or hopelessness,
Life or death,
Love or selfishness,
Fighting for good or giving into bad,
Giving it to Him or carrying it on our own.
Redemption always looks so different than we planned,
but however it looks,
and wherever we find ourselves-
may we always choose joy, love, and good.
May we always choose Him.
“Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.” Psalms 105:4
