Going into training camp, I was concerned about being physically ready. I went to the gym, I worked out a lot, I spent time outside, and I even went 4 days without washing my hair. I thought all of this would be stuff that would help me adjust to life at camp and even on the race. Ha, Jesus wasn’t concerned with any of that. Little did I know, I wasn’t going to boot camp- I was going to what seemed like rehab. But rehab for the heart and soul. Jesus knew the physical part and the rest would come with time, but He had bigger things on the agenda for training camp.
He wanted us to search through the crevasses of my heart and dust away the cobwebs together.
He wanted me to find freedom in grieving my past and unclenching my fists.
He wanted me to give it all to Him, not just a little of this and a little of that.
He wanted to remind me that He has been here all along- the darkest of nights and the brightest of days.
He wanted me to physically feel His arms wrapped around me, holding me and calling me His child.
He wanted me to stop flirting with Him and fall in love with Him all over again.
He wanted to show me His ways are better and He can take care of things much better than I can.
He wanted me to learn to follow His lead and let Him teach me the steps.
Because truth is, He’s been dealing with people since He made them- He knows what He is doing and He knew what needed to be done in me. I must admit the first day or so I was kicking and screaming on the inside, but I would have never dealt with all of this stuff if it weren’t for training camp. It truly was the best intervention I could have ever asked for.
Now with this said, I still have a lot of dying left to do. Every morning before my feet hit the floor I ask Jesus to calibrate my heart and show me how to walk in His ways and to the rhythm of grace. However, I’ve tasted His freedom again, I’ve seen His goodness on display, and I’ve felt His sweet embrace again- and there’s no going back.
He knew I couldn’t love on the nations until I could let Him love on me. And oh my goodness- what a strong love. What a deep, precious love that our Savior has for us.
“Cause Your love is sweeter than honey, Your love is stronger than death. Your love lifts me of my burdens and teaches me to dance.”
I am so thankful for this past week. My words still don’t quite do it justice, but I hope this has helped convey a little bit of it.
