Facing depression on the race… 
I wish I could tell you guys that my heart as been full of joy here in Asia, but I wouldn’t be telling the truth. It has been hard- my hardest two months on the race. Last month in Thailand I struggled with finding energy to do anything. We did manual labor from 8 am until 2 pm every day in the Thailand humidity. Then we would come home, shower, and then go to the orphanage from 5 pm to 7:30 pm. Then we had to come home and have team time. It was hard waking up every morning to do` my devotions. Not doing them made my struggle even worse because I wasn’t getting filled up.
Because of the place I was in, I didn’t feel like I had anything to give the kids. I just felt empty and tired. I couldn’t shake it. No matter how much I slept, it never felt like enough. Then, we left Thailand and headed to Cambodia and I got to be around my whole squad, which is always like Christmas for me. But, I hid and I slept a lot. I didn’t feel like talking. I didn’t feel like going on outings. I just wanted to sleep.
I then took this into Cambodia. I just wanted to be done. My attitude stunk. My heart wasn’t in a good place. I felt like I was faithless, and that there was nothing for me to give. I decided to humble myself and to tell my team where I was and through doing that, God started to move. Brittney said, “Do you think you are depressed?” and it was like a light bulb turned on! I was. I had fallen into a depression. I’m a missionary! I’m working for the Lord! How can this happen?! How is this at all possible? But, it was the ugly truth. Why was this happening? What was going on inside of me? Then the Lord showed me with my team. I had left a big piece of my heart in Africa and I never debriefed leaving. I never cried. I just moved on and never processed through all the amazing things that God walked me through in those three amazing months. I never blogged about Tanzania. I never told you guys the amazing stories of kid after kid that I fell in love with. My heart came ALIVE in Tanzania and I want to share those stories with you!
I can’t wait to share with you the amazing stories of how my life changed in Tanzania and how the Lord filled me with so much love for the Tanzanians. I can’t wait to tell you about the kids I met and the orphanage I want to open! I hope you will enjoy hearing my stories and how the Lord is moving in my life!
I need your help getting me home!
For those of you that don’t know, I will be coming home on December 3rd and I don’t have any money left to get me home. So, I am humbly asking you to help me. I am trusting that the Lord will provide. Let me know if you would be able to help!
Here is what a need:
1. plane ticket- $150 LAX to Chicago
2. extra money to help with the cost of living until I am able to find a job
I don’t want to put an amount of what I think I need because the Lord knows what I need. I know he will provide.
Thank you all for your love and support! Without ya’ll this journey would not have been possible!
Please let me know if you would be able to help!
God Bless,
Missy ><>
*You can donate money through my pay-pal account or send a check to 940 N Mantua St Kent, Ohio 44240
