What I am learning about me from the book called “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown:
– Sometimes I display impatience to others and myself. Are you like me and fallen into the mind-set/expectation that everything should be easy, fast, and pain free. It isn’t all of those, then it isn’t worth it? This is a scary mind-set. I’m going to step out on a limb here and say that maybe it even lowers our quality of life. The thought of a caterpillar and butterfly just came to mind. The caterpillar starts out in a cocoon and transforms into a beautiful butterfly only if it takes the time and endures the struggle to be transformed.
– I am a perfectionist because subconsciously I thought I was unworthy. A quote from the book says “Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look erfect, and act perfect, we can minimie or aboid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield.” I have hidden behind perfectionism for a long time. I have not tried many things for fear of failing and what others might think.
– Maybe I haven’t been living a truly authentic life. Sure there are times when I choose to be authentic, but a lot of times I would become what others needed/wanted me to become for the sake of “fitting in”. A quote from the book says “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”
– Another thing that I am re-learning is that sometimes it is easier to numb my emotions to avoid pain. Here are a few things that Brene says about numbing that maybe you can relate to:
“1. Most of us engage in behaviors (consciously or not) that help us to numb and take the
edge off of vulnerability, pain, and discomfort.
2. Addiction can be described as chronically and compulsively numbing and taking the edge
off of feelings.
3. We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also
numb the positive emotions.”
Well readers, I think that is enough vulnerability for now.
Ministry this past week: More gardening, more discipleship with teen girls at orphanage, church services preparation/tear down, and working on becoming who God desires for me to be.
ANNOUNCEMENT: I have some news about our next country: We will be debriefing in Antigua, Guatemala for a few days and then we will be staying together as a whole squad (all 30 of us). There will be different ministry locations in which we will be working at with our team of 7-8 people though. That is all I really know for now. We leave El Salvador in a week (next Sunday). Please pray for safe travels. It is a 6 hour “van/bus” ride.
I posted a video below that speaks to the heart of this blog as well so please check it out. If you have any thoughts, questions, or comments, then leave it below or send me an e-mail. Thanks for reading! God Bless You!
Misha
“What If We Were Real” by Mandisa song and video below
