One of my favorite bible stories is the feeding of the 5,000. It’s an amazing testament to how God provides, but it is my favorite for more than that revelation. This story is what I was reading when God called me to be a missionary. I had read it in a perspective that I hadn’t before, I truly put my self in the shoes of the disciples. Now here’s my experience on that day in remote place with Jesus and 5,000 people.
Times are tenser than ever before for us twelve and Jesus. John the Baptist has just been beheaded and Jesus’ “time” is nearing. I don’t really understand what all that means, I’m just a little worried about Jesus. He’s gotten on a boat to go to some remote place to be alone. The crowds have figured out where He is going, and now they are following Him there. I wonder if I should tell them to leave so Jesus can be alone?
As I see Jesus in the distance getting off the boat, He did something I hadn’t expected. He had compassion on them, and even started healing their sick people!
Evening has begun to come, and the people are stirring with hunger. I don’t have enough money to feed all these people, not even after a year’s work will I have enough! I talk amongst the other twelve and we go to speak with Jesus to let him know.
“This place is a wilderness, and it is already late. Send the crowds away so they can go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” I see Jesus’ eyes skim the crowd, and then they meet mine. In a soothing tone He says:
“They don’t need to go away; you give them something to eat.” My heart began to race; Jesus wants me to feed them? I search my bags, but all I have is five loaves and two fish. There is no way that is enough. I shouldn’t even dig it out because they will laugh. I look up and Jesus is still looking at me. I tell him that this is all I have, and he smiles, not in a mocking way but in a proud father way. He says: “Bring them here to me.”
He took them and broke them up. Then He looked up to Heaven, and He blessed them. He began breaking them into pieces and we handed them out. My eyes were amazed, the food just kept breaking and multiplying. Everyone in the crowd and was full! There was even 12 baskets leftover!
So many times we read this story and only focus on Jesus providing, and we miss His command. In this day there are so many hungry people all over the world, we spend time praying for them (which is great) and telling Jesus to provide for them. That is where we miss the command, “YOU give them something to eat.” Jesus knows people are hungry and hurting, we don’t need to merely pray and tell Him, we need to take action! This is where the second half of the story changed my entire life. They only had some bread and fish. At that point why even give it out? It won’t fix the entire problem. Why would I go on a 9 month mission trip? God it costs wayyyyyy too much, I am only 18 years old and I have to finish college. What can I even do to help them?
In the midst of me looking at how little talent and money I have, Jesus catches eyes with mine. He doesn’t look away. He lovingly says “Miriam, bring me what you have.”
For a second, I still doubt that I will be worth anything to help someone. But I choose to give Him all I have. My broken heart, anxious mind, and feeble faith. He blesses it. You see it is not about me and what I solely have to offer these people on this trip, but it is His blessing on all that I have.
