Ever since I’ve started the race I’ve heard about how we all may gain weight.
I didn’t want to believe it.
Before I left for the race I was eating right and exercising. I was finally starting to love the way my clothes fit and how I looked. I’ve never felt that way about myself before. I planned to keep exercising and eating as healthy as possible on the race.
The hard thing is you don’t have control over your life on the race. Sometimes you’re able to cook for yourself sometimes your not. Sometimes you can find people who will work out with you sometimes you’re just too exhausted to work out.
After month 3 I noticed I didn’t need a belt anymore. So that’s when I cut out snacks. The snacks I was eating were really unhealthy. I started to work out again. But then I got sick and stopped working out. But at least I wasn’t snacking anymore.
That still didn’t work.
Now we’re at month six and I feel horrible. My pants are all tight. Even the ones that were too loose before the race. I don’t see myself as pretty anymore. Even though my team does an awesome job at telling me that I am and that I am not fat. But according to the way my clothes fit and the pictures I’ve seen of me, I am. Even though I know in my head that its not true.
I look at the other girls on the squad and think. They haven’t gained anything. Some of their clothes actually look too big on them!
Yes, comparison is the their of joy. But its hard to not compare yourself to others.
I just can’t help but think that as soon as I get back I’ll be able to loose what I’ve gained. That next month I will eat less, exercise more and hopefully I won’t have to buy the next pant size up with money I don’t have. I know this isn’t the right way to think and that I shouldn’t worry about it.
Maybe this is why God brought me on the race. So I can learn that in His eyes I am still pretty.
