I surrendered my life to Christ when I was 15 years old. And since those young years I slowly walked with The Lord. Two steps forward, one step back. I anxiously awaited for the day when I would be a "Christian". When I could claim that I followed The Lord with no steps back. Just forward.
And that day came…. Never. I have yet to have a day when I felt I fully surrendered every moment, every word I spoke, every sight I saw, every thought I had. So I told myself I wouldn't confuse others. I wouldn't profess myself as a "Christian", because there are enough hypocrites calling themselves something they have no idea the weight it has.
So I lived the real thing. I ran and sought after The Lord and man, I love Him. But if someone asked if I was a Christian I explained what I meant. I explained what a "Christian" was. I didn't want to be classified with the "church" cause they were doing more harm than good. I refused to do something, because the "church" said "Christians" do this. And one of my Father's loving commands got swept under the rug with it.
Baptism. The word, the idea, flooded into my spirit as I arrived in Pitesti, Romania. And I couldn't shake it. But more prevalent was that I couldn't shake the shame of not being baptized right away. Right when I turned to Christ. But I had such a fear of turning unbelievers away from Jesus by not being perfect. I didn't want to profess the visual representation of the change that happened in my life. Fear of not measuring up wounded me.
But fear is something that is broken on the World Race. Fear of anything but The Lord is purely ridiculous. And quite frankly, I'm sick of it. So I'm claiming it. I started as a small inkling at training camp, the Father saying I'm not broken. It grew in the months of this race. And I'm sick of gently whispering it to myself.
I'm screaming it. I'm not broken. I'm flawless. I'm loved.
I AM A CHRISTIAN.
I am washed clean. I'm not drudging through the mud of my sin, still carrying pieces of it. I'm clean. Pure and clean. I'm not wiping away mud to have it be kicked up and cleaned again. I'm clean!
And just as I plunged into the water to be cleaned, the ripples of my emersion represent the lives I touch by being obedient to my Father and loving Him with everything I have in me. And others will be cleansed. And each one of our ripples will spread His Kingdom.
