Wow. It has been almost 2 full months since I posted a blog. I truly do apologize. I have a few things to let my supporters know so that you all understand why I took a break from my blog. On January 25th I returned to the United States.
To give some explanation for my return, I received a call on the morning of the 24th from my mom. She told me that my grandma was in the hospital and that she was down to only a few days left. This truly came as a shock to me because although my grandma was sick, I didn’t think her time was limited. I don’t think it is important for me to go into the details of her decline and the way she was for the final days of her life, but rather to express what she meant to me and the impact she had during her very beautiful life.
My grandma was extraordinary in the most simple and graceful way. Ever since I can remember she has been one of the most constant people I have had in my life. The way she cared for me and my family beyond what we deserved is a testament to the giving and nurturing spirit she had. She and my grandpa have always gone above and beyond in being present and invested in my life and I couldn’t be more grateful for her.
In the words of my mom, “She supported all of her family 100% of the time, without being pushy and without trying to solve every problem she actually helped solve every problem. She was always one of the first that was there to celebrate all of the triumphs and the first to cry with all the defeats. She was the first that her daughters would turn to and want to include in those things.”
So that being said, my mom expressed how my grandma wanted to talk to me. So over FaceTime I spoke to her and it was probably one of the most painful things I have done. Even when she was fighting for life she still put her family first. She attempted reassuring me that she would see me again. As much as it broke my heart, I knew what she was trying to do.
After the call ended, I knew that I needed to see her. I needed to talk to her in person and I needed to be there for the person who has never ceased to support me and be there in the toughest of times. Time was slipping out of my hands, but God truly blessed me. I hopped on 2 buses, 2 planes and an Uber and made it in time to speak with her.
My final conversation with her was brief, but I will cherish it forever. She gave me the honor to be the last person she had a conversation with. She told me she loved me and that was enough. Shortly after my arrival to the hospital, they put her on a steady flow of morphine so she was no longer conscious for the remainder of her life.
Following this, I remained in the United States for a little over 2 weeks until the memorial happened. After that, I returned to Guatemala and have spent a lot of time processing returning to the States and losing her. To be honest it has been difficult to bring myself to write my blogs because she was the biggest supporter of what I was writing. She always read them and would talk to me about the things I chose to be vulnerable about. I know that she wouldn’t want me to choose out of sharing the amazing things God is doing in my life though. So I am going to attempt to get back into consistently posting.
A few quick updates too, I finished my final week in Guatemala with my mom by my side for the Parent Trip. I had an absolutely amazing time with her and felt super blessed to share my ministry and life with her. I am also no longer in America (North, Central or South), I AM IN CAMBODIA (which is in Asia). I have travelled to the future, by 12 hours and it is indeed 100+ degrees here, and 97% humidity! I actually am writing this blog as I am sweating on the tile floor of my bedroom. I figure out my ministry after this weekend and will be able to let everyone know.
Thank you for taking the time to read and I once again apologize for not sharing sooner about what I have been up to! God bless you.
