I just killed a scorpion not 20 feet from my bed. Seriously, you try sleeping after doing battle with a venomous, deceptive creature whose sole purpose in life is your demise! Ok, not really, but I am tucking my feet up a little higher in my hammock.
That’s where I am now. It’s 11:30 pm and I’m tucked in my hammock on the roof of our ministry site, looking forward to our last day in Peru. Not that Peru hasn’t been wonderful, although it was questionable after that chicken claw in my soup, I’m just looking forward to the next leg of this adventure! God has taught me so much in just one month’s experience and it is so transforming. It’s incredible what happens when you give God the chance to tap you on the shoulder.
That’s what this blog is about, sharing all that has happened, what I’ve learned, what I’m taking with me and what and who I’m leaving behind.
Let’s start with Who I’m leaving behind.
Every day, without fail, like clockwork despite the Peruvian time, Odalis and Veronica faithfully provided our meals. Every day at noon and 5, they would walk in with their wonderful home-cooked meals that provided just enough of a unique experience to enjoy the culture without too much culture shock for us first-month racers. Not only did they pour their love and commitment into their meals, but they have done our laundry for us…twice! Today they insisted on doing laundry for us before we left so that we would have clean clothes for our trip. Jesus shone from these ladies in every act of service they did. It pains me to say that the extent of my communication was “gracias, mucho mucho gracias”. Turns out that isn’t even a phrase….
The kids. So many youthful faces; so exuberant for life! Our first week was VBS and I spent day after day sitting with the kids, holding up markers and asking what color they were. Kids are so patient and they seem to understand what I mean even when I confuse “polo” with “pollo” and inadvertently refer to Sean as “a green chicken”. Damarice, Louise, Emerson, Valentine, Banderlie, and Juan Antonio will forever hold a special place in my heart. From Damarice’s incredible hugs to Louise’s help setting concrete, Emerson’s constant desire to be on the roof with me, Valentine’s future Lamborghini, Banderlie’s incredible aptitude for music, and Juan Antonio’s uncanny knack for having to be rescued from his own schemes. Yeah, I like that kid.
I’m taking with me a sense of awe. The world is incredible and huge and beautiful. I’ve seen the mountains and the ocean, the desert and the tropics all in one field of vision. I’m taking with me a love for people. We were warned of the horrors of the area, but I’ve seen only love. I’ve talked for hours with Henry, an incredible mason who dreams of working in the States, using all of my 20 words in Spanish. I’m taking with me an appreciation for the States and for the Christian morals which have built our nation. I’m taking with me a closer relationship with God. I have learned to speak with God, to converse with Him, to ask Him questions, receive answers, and speak life into His children. I’m taking with me, a family. I started this month with 5 teammates and I leave with 3 new sisters and 2 new brothers. Something about hanging off the side of a mountain just brings people together like that.
I’m going to break order cause that’s me, that’s what I do. I’m gonna tell you what happened this month. So, as you know, first week was VBS. It was hosted and directed by our ministry host, Auden, so I got to enjoy standing at the back of the room and giggling at those who were directing the music and skits. Then Auden told us, we were the show and they were leaving. I don’t think there’s a scale for the kind of stress that comes from everyone having a piece of the puzzle, but no one having the right one for the job. That was crazy. Seriously, that was crazy. After VBS we began doing some miscellaneous work. Auden discovered I had some experience doing construction and offered me a rather large job. Poor guy didn’t know what he had gotten himself into. Two and a half weeks later, 3 walls destroyed, foundation destroyed, and a wall moved, I was ready to start putting things back together. DEstruction is my forte…..CONstruction….not so much. Nevertheless, it didn’t turn out too badly. My teammates basically did everything else and made us look good, while I tried to do damage control for World War 3. They cleaned, painted, provided my emotional support, cleaned, provided emotional support, painted, provided emotional support….you get the picture. I swear we broke more than we fixed. Have you ever wondered what happens when you overfill a water tower? You don’t want to know. We also taught English classes, music classes, and a couple of the sermons.
I saved the best for last.
What I’ve learned. Something that Adventures in Missions requires us to do on a daily basis is a process called “feedback”. In feedback, others share what they see God doing in your life, how they have seen Jesus in you, and often asking the hard questions. From there you receive the feedback, pray about it, and see if it stands against time and scripture. If so, it’s obviously from God and you should apply it.
To say I’ve “learned” anything would be horribly pretentious and an outright fallacy as anyone who knows me knows that I don’t just make a mistake once…I do it twice or thrice just to make sure.
Anyway, before I left, I was given a booklet from a friend to write all of the feedback received from my teammates, and all the words I’ve received during my conversations with God. That booklet is full. This month I’ve found myself frantically grasping for old comforts in an effort to numb the work that God is doing in my life. But without wifi, internet, hot water, A/C, transportation, or the ability to communicate, I kinda had no choice, but to listen. God has been chipping away, and I know that there’s more to come because I haven’t let go of a couple things, but I’d like to share a couple of the major things that God has pointed out to me.
I used to ask myself: “Is this a character flaw I need to fix or a personality trait I need to develop?” Self evaluation and self doubt. While enjoying the blessing of working amongst the mango and almond trees in the pacific breeze, I was reminded “I have made you perfect.” God is my Father, and In His eyes, by His Son’s blood, I am perfect. Who am I to say otherwise? I have been given gifts that are unique to me. Others have not been given my gift, my gift is unique and is to be used for the sole purpose of advancing the kingdom and for the service of others. Simply because others don’t serve God or others in the way that I do doesn’t mean that they are lazy or have flaws. They are perfect children of God too, I just need to learn how to use my gifts in cooperation with theirs. My gifts are not my identity. Identity is not a position to fill, a box to claim, or a title to wear. As my Father is, so am I. I need to stop putting a label on myself in the attempt of gaining fulfillment. Am I a leader? Yes, but that is not who I am. Am I a worker, a musician, a servant, a fill-in-the-blank? Yes, but that is not who I am. I am not defined by those titles just as my Father is not defined by or limited to our titles for Him. There is one title I can claim, and that is “A Son of God”, and as such, I will continue to do my best to mirror Him, to put away childish things, to grow in His likeness, and to let Love be my highest goal. Until we meet again.
