It’s hard to believe month one has come and gone and month two is well on its way…
I’ve been sitting in the corner of memory café listening to Dean Martin’s Greatest Hits, trying to decide what to blog about for a good hour and the words ever-present, unchanging, and love finally come to my mind.
God is ever-present, unchanging, and full of love.
This God reminds me of a new friend… so here’s a little story:
One morning during month one I woke up around 5:30, desperately trying to find some alone time with God.
like actual alone time.
(its all squad month the first two months so I’ve been living in community with about 45 other people and we are all crammed in two houses.)
now you can imagine alone time doesn’t really exist.
So I wake up early, put in my headphones, and begin walking around the perimeter of my home. I look up and see this lady, probably in her 70’s and she’s walking towards me. I smile and say hi in Khmer. She smiles and says hi back and we go on our way. My next lap approaches and I see her again in the exact same spot. We smile and giggle at each other. I attempt to introduce myself and ask her for her name. She doesn’t understand English, but I did manage to get her name; Seva. I say goodbye a second time and put my headphones back in. On my third lap we meet, yet again. She motions me over to walk with her, so I obey and we begin walking side by side. Every once in a while we would look over at each other and just smile. I forget which lap, (maybe the fifth or sixth) but I reach out and grab her hand. She looks at me with a smiling face and squeezes my hand in acceptance. My whole body smiles and my heart beams. We continue to walk for half an hour then I ask her if it would be okay if I pray for her, she nodded, probably not knowing what she just said yes to, but I began to pray over her and our new friendship.
I can’t tell you how much joy I felt from that experience.
My heart craved for more; the next morning I woke up hoping I would see her again. As soon as I got outside there she was, arm stretched out, waiting for my hand.
She’s my bestfriend now and we walk almost every morning at 6 am sharp. We meet to just walk, not talk. We watch the sunrise, I pray, and we hug goodbye every morning.
I went to siem riep for a week and badly missed walking. The first morning back in battambang I woke up early to start my walk. As soon as we saw each other our faces lit up and we hugged each other sooo tight. It was the kind of hug you give/receive when you haven’t seen your bestfriend for a week. She started talking to me in very broken English and Khmer.. What I got out of it was she missed me and I was in her heart. Seva lights up my world.
so you ask how I experience the unchanging, ever-present, and loving God from a 70 something, Khmer speaking, grandma?
well I can honestly say it isn’t some big revelation but it’s real.
The beautiful orange and pink sunrises remind me every morning how God is ever-present. He is all around. All we have to do is stop our racing minds and worrying hearts and look for Him. God is there. How cool is that?
Almost every morning I come downstairs in a different outfit and have a different attitude based on how much sleep I get or how many mosquito bites I wake up with ect.. some days I can be hostile and bitter and others I can be completely loving and kind. My life is based on feelings.
I can honestly say I’ve been a hot and cold Christian my entire life, being hot when I could “feel” the holy spirit in my life, and being cold when I just couldn’t “feel” His presence.
Well I’ve come to realize God doesn’t give out love or mercy based on how He’s “feeling”.
In order to grow and become more like him, I pray to be unchanging, in the sense where my feelings don’t control my faith life.
I sometimes won’t feel the presence of the Lord but that doesn’t mean He has changed in any way. I still need to choose to praise Him and live the life He has given me to the fullest every single day. It’s a choice, not always a feeling.
and last but not least, love…
Little, old Seva has reminded me that love is all that really matters. If we don’t have love we don’t have anything.
Seva has shown me love has no borders or barriers. She has shown me God is love by how she treats me. I’m a stranger, who doesn’t speak her language and yet she holds my hand, smiles at me from the heart, brings me bags of bananas, and lets me pray over her every morning. God has sure blessed me with such a great loving friend like Seva.
thank you for being incredibly patient with me.
thank you for all of your support and love.
I am so blessed to be here in Battambang sharing God’s love with everyone I meet.
thank you, thank you, thank you!
if you are feeling tugged at all to support me financially I have a little less than $5,000 left to raise before my December deadline.
xoxoxoxo
mikayla
