It’s an understatement to say training camp rocked my world.
There were so many battles within me that I had no idea I was even wrestling with. Training gave me the opportunity to acknowledge the lies that had been fed to me, and to declare that those thoughts are wrong.
The further I got into training camp the more I began to question myself (not my call of going on the race but more my worth). I would observe our incredible squad and I would see so many gifts and talents among them. I saw God using their gifts and it became easy for me to see how God could use them on the race. I began to question myself and question God. In all honesty, I didn’t know how or if God wanted to use me (ridiculous, I know). I began to question my worth, and I even lost sight of how Christ viewed me.
Jumping forward a bit.
I want to show you an exercise that we learned at training camp. This exercise will forever change the way I spend time with the Lord.
-Close your eyes –
Imagine a place
Imagine someone walking towards you
You realize its Jesus coming towards you
What did he say to you?
What did you say to him?
What does he do?
What does he say?
As I was struggling with these lies the enemy had put in my head, I decided to go to my happy place with the Lord. (At this point I had already done this exercise a few times before so it doesn’t exactly follow that outline) But this is what I experienced.
Imagine a place.
– Huge green mountains. Everywhere. I am on one of the mountains. There is a hammock set up in the back and there is a picnic table on a flat surface that has access to an incredible view of the landscape of all the mountains.
You see someone walking towards you and you realize its Jesus, what do you do?
– I was sitting on top of the picnic table, I looked back and grinned at Jesus and motioned him over. Jesus came and sat by me on the table. How cool is it that we have a meeting place!
– When Jesus came and sat with me we just looked at the view. And wow guys, it was beautiful.
– Jesus could tell there were lies in my head. He could sense the brokenness within me. He knew my heart was confused, He sees right through me. He knows everything. Wild.
What did I do/say?
– As I sat there with Jesus. We continued to sit there in silence (which I’ve really been learning to appreciate). But I began to notice things I hadn’t noticed before.
– I looked at the holes in Jesus’ hands. I became captivated by them. I took his hand in mine to get a closer look. I put our hands next to each other and was looking at the hole that should have been in my hand but was not. I put my foot against his foot and again I see the wholeness of my foot. Those holes on his skin are there to cover mine.
What did Jesus Do?
– I then saw the scars on his arm from the whips that he took for me. I felt his wounds and he doesn’t say a thing. He just looked at me in admiration. The whole time I’ve been looking at his scars, he has been looking at me, I was worth it. I was worth those scars. My worth is in Jesus.
– I looked at his scars differently. Jesus took those hits for me. Those scars are beautiful.
Don’t allow the enemy to get in your head. If you do, allow Jesus to show you the truth because it is a beautiful awakening.
