The amount of times I’ve written out this post is almost comical.
The Father speaks in wild ways. The ways He communicates is endless. Too often we put God in a box, thinking that He only communicates one way or we limit what He tells us to do, but that is so far off.
These past few months God has spun my world around. In the way I view Him, the way I see Him, and the way I hear Him now is so beautiful, I wouldn’t trade how I see God for anything. I feel so blessed that I have been able to see my Father in a new light. I feel so blessed that I know God speaks to me, He tells me what He thinks about me, that He loves me and delights in me and He tells me that He is enough for me, But I never believed that, and this is why I am returning to the States.
God has so much to teach me, and so much to walk me through, and now is when He wants to do it. For so long, I have believed that God is not enough for me. That somehow I thought I knew my heart better then He did. God would light me heart up for what He had for me, but I would turn away from it because, what God was offering didn’t seem like enough to me. God revealed that I love to please the people around me so much that I listen to people’s words over His Word, that I would rather do what makes people happy instead of what God wants me to do because it makes me look better and people will be proud of me.
God is about to walk me through the bondage that has been holding me captive for most of my life so that I can walk in freedom in Him. God is about to walk me through a huge refinement fire, I am so scared but I am so ready for what He has. I am ready to embrace his delight and I am ready to believe that He is my enough.
I know many people will be disappointed and I realize that not everyone will understand my decision, but I can tell you that the Lord has given me so much peace and I trust His plan and I am excited for what He is going to do in my life.
I want to reassure you that the money that was given did not go to waste!!! God has shown me and taught me so much about myself and revealed to me the truths of who He is that I did not know to be true. The money that was given was never in my possession and I truly believe God will use it to honor his kingdom. (Not to mention the money is with an incredible organization that’s main goal is to bring kingdom)
I am still a racer. I am still on K-Squad, I am still on the race, my route just took a different course.
