Let me paint you a picture –
November 1, 1988, a young couple, ages 20 and 25, made a very rash decision. The two, he from Pennsylvania and she from a nomad stricken family in the Pacific North West, had just met in a small town bar (of which she was illegally in). The couple who was full of youth and passion spent six weeks getting to know each other, and decided this was the one whom they wanted to spend their lives with. They were ALL IN. They hopped in a car, and started the 8 hour drive from Bozeman Montana, to Coeur D’Alene Idaho.
At the end of the road, sat a quaint little lakeside chapel. This drive was a right of passage for her family. Her parents parents, her parents, and most of her 6 siblings had taken this drive before her to be joined in holy matrimony with their loved one of choice. Full of excitement, this young couple made the most impulsive decision he had, and probably will ever, make. I can almost hear the excitement in her voice from the drive, they’re talking about how they had loved each other dearly in those short 6 weeks, and how this just felt right.
The ceremony came and went, with no loved ones to witness but hearts full of joy they ran back to their car and ventured back to Montana. Can you imagine that conversation?
“WE’RE MARRIED!”
“I cannot believe we did that! I love you so much!”
“We can throw a party and celebrate with everybody when we get back.”
“Our whole lives will be a celebration!”
Just before Bozeman, came the town of Belgrade where the now in-laws to the Pennsylvanian lived. I’m sure she blasted through the door of her parent’s house holding the marriage certificate
“Mom! Dad! I have news!”
If the now in-laws were anything like how I knew them they were already in the living room just inside the door and they also already knew what their daughter had done (parents have a way of just knowing). Nonetheless, I’m sure they were ecstatic to welcome the kind young man into their family. As parents do though, I’m sure they brought the happy couple a little bit closer to reality, imparting great wisdom on them.
“Honey, we have like nothing! What are we going to do?”
“Just steal some toilet paper and we’ll figure it out tomorrow.”
So with that, the newly married couple headed to their home with stolen toilet paper. I’m sure he carried her into the front door of the trailer he was renting, the house that would become the first home to both of their children many years down the road. They sat in the living room of the empty house stolen toilet paper in hand with disbelief. This was it, they were married, they were choosing to build their lives together from this point on.
This young couple went on to build an inspiring marriage, fruitful life, and an amazing community of loved ones around them in their tiny town. He went from being the manager of a welding shop to the owner, she went from being a hair dresser to a business woman. They later had a son, and two year after that a daughter. They moved from the trailer to a house built by him for them. They loved their children with all their hearts and taught them to love others, and love what they do.
As with all marriages, trials and tribulations came. Living in community is challenging but they worked through it. Merging finances is extremely difficult, especially if the two have a few differing beliefs, but they compromised. Throw kids in the mix and you are responsible for the well-being of another human or two? Nobody works through those ideas having known each other for six weeks, but through the commitment to marriage this young couple decided to say YES to each other each and every day.
This is the love story that has shaped my understanding of marriage, love, and family. This young couple brought me into the world, and raised me, and my brother, with a great reverence for the world around us. They taught us that to make a marriage work we have to choose each other. They taught us that if we work hard, we really can build an empire, or be whatever we want to be. They taught us that we are never alone. They taught us how to forgive, and ask for forgiveness. They taught us how to respect one another.
Their favorite piece of marriage advice is that love is a choice. Each day you have to choose to love each other, and sometimes you don’t want to. However, you made a promise to this person, so honor that and honor them. Choose to love them, choose to compromise, choose to make this marriage work.
So thanks to you Mom and Dad. Thank you for loving each other so well. If a family is a tree, we need solid roots to stand the test of time. You two have buried your roots deep and intertwined them together to closely I don’t think any storm can tear our tree out. You know the importance of loving each other each and every day. You honor and respect each other as a unit of man and wife. You take delight in your family. You were strangers who became a team, and have left a legacy of love to your children to cherish forever. Thank you for being an example of love, honor, and respect. Thank you for showing us a love story for the ages.
Happy Anniversary, I hope it’s a celebration worthy of the beautiful marriage you share.
