Worship no longer looks the way it did before the race.
It no longer looks the way it did at month 3, 8 or on May 9th 2013.
It no longer looks the same because on the evening of May 10th 2013 with out my knowing the way I worship changed once again.
Photo by Ashley Francis
You see theres been a slow progression over the last year in the way I worship.
When I stood in my church in northern California when the band began to play I worshiped. Or so I thought I did. I raised my hands when I felt moved, I sang the lyrics with a loud semi passionate voice. My feet always moving and my body always swaying, or so I thought that was what was happening when I worshiped. I thought I was worshiping with my whole being. I thought I looked a little weird at times.
Fast forward to month 2 of the race, Ukraine. My squad leader shows up and brings her worship flags. Dance enters the way I worship. My body moves on a whole new level. Worship looks completely different or so I thought. The next month at debrief I worshiped with dance in a group setting, I didnt look weird. I fit in. What I was doing was catching fire and moving among my squad. Rachel(squad leader) brought dance to a squad filled with dancers. I thought worship could not get better.
Skip ahead several months and more growths in the way I worship to month 8 in Thailand. We had worship every night of the week before we went out for red light district ministry. I was taught by a group of passport girls(another AIM mission trip) another way to worship, that when combined with what I was learning so far brought me to a deeper level of intimacy when I worshiped.
Photot by Ahsley Francis
Worship naturally became a normal occurrence whenever and where ever it was needed, day or night. It became more than dance and lyrics. It became time in the bible. Getting new meanings for passages, scriptures for others and things to pray out. I started listening to Him during worship and writing words for others. I also started to draw prophetic pictures during worship. I started drawing like I had never before. My worship became deeper and more intimate as I sought His voice along with raising mine.
Singing, dancing, prophecy in many forms and listing prayer all combined that month to equal what I thought of as worship. Oh and yelling and stomping became normal then too.
Have I mentioned yet that at this point in time, dancing with out the flags is now normal for me too, and singing whatever is in my heart no matter what song is actually being sung is totally normal now too? No, well somewhere along the way that happened too.
This no longer sounds like my “normal” sunday church 45min worship session. I dont think I would fit in the pew anymore. I dont think I want to either. I dont think Jesus would either.
I think He is there, dont get me wrong, I just dont think He looks at that and says, this is it, this is the best I have for you. You have made it to your limits of worship.
Now for May 10th, 2013. Several racers went to Phnom Penh Ihop for a short worship burn. The small simple room where it is held is beautiful, it is set up with a mic for music, an amp for the guitar, a mic for words, plenty of couches and pillows, pens for notes and a small creative arts station.
I begin the night in prayer sitting on a couch just asking daddy what He wants tonight. Eventually I am sitting cross legged on the couch rocking back and forth furiously writing down the words and phrases He is telling me. I can feel Jesus in the room and I can feel Him radiating in my soul. Im sure if I was anywhere but there I would have looked like a crazy person.
Later in the evening I begin to draw, by the end of the evening it is a combination of two drawings I did in Thailand. Fire and water, moving together in the shape of a lotus flower. At one point I looked up from the ground and saw a circle of squad mates who where praying and all wearing the colors in my drawing. Fire. The fire of Jesus was all up in that room.
These are the two drawings that were combinded that night.
In between all of this I have some words and a previously done drawing for a past teammate which requires me to cross the entire room several times. This is not normal. Or so I thought.
There is so much more, so many things that I can not put into words. Things I feel, see and experience that I do not know how to tell you in words.
On May 10th it all came crashing together and I did not even realize it at the time. My spirit worshiped in a new way. My body worshiped in a new way. For the first time the two came crashing together. My body and spirit worshiped in a new and intimate way that night. A crazy thing happened and it happened so naturally I did not even realize until I woke up the next morning.
I am looking forward to what is next, God keeps blowing my mind with the way I can see Him and worship Him.
I cant wait for whats next Daddy…
Heres a video by my amazing teammate Adam Smith
