So, I have been dealing an awful lot with fear during this month here in the Philippines. And I totally understand that fear is completely relative.
“We don’t see a house cat as scary because we are dominant over the cat. But, when you look at the house cat from the view of a canary, fear is very real.” -Quote from some person in a movie I saw at some time, I think.
Right now, I feel like a canary. Now, don’t get me wrong, the name Miguel Gonzalez is never synonymous with fear, that is something I am really proud of. 60 ft cliff jump, sure, let’s jump. Bungee jumping, let’s do it. Skydive, hey why the heck not? I literally posted a blog earlier this month about facing one of my fears! My fear in this moment stems from the idea that my journey may end sooner than expected…
I signed up for the World Race in early may, meaning that I had a very short amount of time to fund-raise $18,700 for this incredible journey. The Lord provided and here I sit with $9,705 raised towards my trip and couldn’t be more thankful. (On that note, thank you so much to those of you who have helped me raise this much money, it really means THE WORLD to me) You see, I have noticed that during this trip I have been comparing myself to my fellow squadmates a lot. I would log onto Facebook and see that so-and-so is now fully funded, they raised the full $18,700.. Wow! That’s incredible! But then I would just sit and question, curious as to whether I am supposed to even be here or not. “Lord, I have been trying so hard to raise this money, but it just seems like my resources have run dry. I’ve asked so many people, sent out so many letters, and prayed my heart out, why is it so difficult for me to be thankful for what I have?”
When I got to the end of that prayer, something really stuck out in my mind.. one word, thankful.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
It finally started to click. Regardless of the circumstance, I need to be thankful. If I end up raising all $18,700 for this trip, I will be thankful. If I don’t I will be thankful, simple as that. Trusting in the Lord is difficult, but when I began to be more thankful to Him for the gifts that He has provided thus far, I released my spirit of fear, I released my spirit of uncertainty. I am totally down for whatever He chooses for the remainder of this trip because I am thankful for the gifts that He has provided me with thus far. It was so simple. So, if the day comes where the $9,700 that I have raised runs out and I have to head home, then I am thankful. If the day comes where I can be one of those people on Facebook, screaming and hollering about being fully funded, I will be thankful. No matter what the situation is, I will be thankful and I will not let fear cripple me in any way, it’s a waste of my time and emotion, so screw that…
Thanks for reading. By the end of November, I have a deadline of $13,000 I need to have raised in this account. If I raise it, I’ll be thankful, if not, thankful.. you get the point. If you would like to help me reach my November goal of $13,000, on the way to the full $18,700, every dollar adds up, just click ‘donate’ at the top of this page to donate, everything is so appreciated and I am thankful for all of it.
Much love, y’all..
