I was talking to my cousin tonight who has a three year old. She was explaining that the three year old will get tantrums when mom doesn’t understand what she wants.
From working with this age, I told her that’s pretty typical of that age. And then, I thought comes – that’s how I’ve been acting with God…ugh.
I have been frustrated, irritated and angry with God…and with myself. Like a 3 year old, I have been taking my case to God and pouring out my heart yet running away before He answers. Then I keep thinking I can’t hear Him.
Even still, the Father keeps using me and pursuing me. Like tonight, when a teammate asked me to pray for an answer for her. Immediately, I thought no, I can’t hear His voice. But I prayed anyways.
A song came to my mind. I kept praying, but God I need an answer, a confirmation. I asked God what does this mean for her. But all that came to mind was the song.
Then I started to tell them what I ‘heard’. As soon as I said all I heard was a song…the other teammate gets excited. She says that God told her to ask me what song I had on my heart. Umm what?!?
I keep doubting and like Thomas, God keeps showing up and loving me right where I am.
Thank you, Father. Thank you for your reckless and foolish love for me. Thank you for pursuing me and never letting me go. Forgive my doubts and fears and help me to lay them at Your feet. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.
Thanks for all your prayers! Keep praying!
PS. In the middle of writing and processing this, we had a visit from a small creature, which made things a little more exciting! Lol
