I realize that I haven’t blogged for a hot second because I didn’t know what to write or feel. So today I come to give you, my loving and faithful supporters, an update. First of all, I am officially FULLY FUNDED. Thank you to all you who gave monthly and generously. AND thank you to all of you who have continued to give to help with my student loans. I am beyond blessed and grateful for your generosity and for Jesus who continues to pursue me through you.
Secondly, in another blog I wrote that this was the year of goodbyes. When I wrote that I had no idea that one of the goodbyes would be to my Grandma. My dad’s mom died peacefully on December 3, 2018. Even just typing that seems so strange.
I was going to write about how hard that week was and how watching the funeral made me miss my family even more…(thankfully some of my squadmates/teammates know how to give good hugs!) I was going to share about what it looked like traveling to El Salvador and all the many things that happened in that one week.
But instead I want to share with you how I will be home for Christmas.
Home and Christmas invokes so many memories for me. Lots of memories include my Grandma. Grandma J loved Christmas and because of her I think (probably much to my team’s dismay) I love Christmas too. Grandma made sure that Christmas was about Jesus. When we went to her house, we read the Christmas story and would sing Happy Birthday, Jesus. She loved when her grandkids would sing Christmas carols. (Also her laughter when some crazy Uncle would sing, “Grandma got ran over by a reindeer”). Grandma’s joy for Jesus could not be contained. I remember many times listening to her sing so enthusiastically or during a God story she would exclaim “all right” or “amen”. Grandma knew how to rejoice and spread cheer for all to hear. J
Today, Jesus reminded me that Kansas is not my home. Last November, when I was contemplated on applying for the World Race – I remember Jesus telling me to surrender my family and comforts. I didn’t realize what that meant exactly but I think I understand just a little bit more. When I surrender my Kansas home and family, I can long and look more clearly towards my permanent home with Jesus.
The loss of Grandma reminds me that life here is temporary. Grandma understood that following Jesus meant life that’s eternal. Christmas wasn’t just about the traditions for her but it was looking forward to Jesus coming back again. It meant longing for our permanent home.
So this Christmas, I want to be overwhelmed with joy. I will miss my dear Grams but I know she is rejoicing and cheering me on. I know Jesus called me and created me for this good work. And while I long for my Home there with Him, I will press on here in El Salvador. Still, I can enjoy my short term home here. This home where my teammates and I created paper Christmas decorations. I can find joy and feel at home with Sonia, who cares for us and brings me coffee. Home is not a place but it is finding where you belong. I belong here because I belong to Christ.
Thank you, Grandma, for your example. Thank you, Jesus, for being Immanuel.
I love you all.
