The Lord has been carrying me through a lot the past couple of months. I have been trying to understand how big His love really is and it´s not something I can wrap my mind around. He loves each of us personally not just as a whole human race but individually. Until this point in my life I counted myself in as just part of the mass of humans that Jesus loves because He loves everybody, but ít´s so much more than that and I knew that and I´ve told other people that before but I never really took it to heart. I just feel like I¨m so not worthy. Why would the King of kings, the Messiah, love ME like that? He really wants to walk with me and run with me and dance with me and take care of me and pick me up when I fall on my face and hold me until it doesn´t hurt any more. As beautiful as that sounds to have the Lord love you like that it´s been hard for me to come to grips with. It hasn´t been easy to accept that truth into my life even when I have believed it for so long.
Since I embarked on this journey with the Lord He has completely taken away my comfort zone and the identity that I created for my self has been disassembled. The Lord has created me to be something else and I haven’t even touched the surface of what he has for me. Before I came to Peru I identified myself by my work. If my job was going well and running smoothly then i was ok but if work wasn’t running the way it should then it was a direct reflection of who I was and I must be a wreck if I can’t even keep things going smoothly at work. You can count me out of that. But if I”m not defined by my work and I am defined by the Lord then who does the Lord say I am? I’ve been told so many lies by the world about who I really am and I’m just beginning to sift through them, recognize them and rebuke them. It takes a lot out of me though, I”m at constant war either with flesh or the enemy and sometimes both. I can’t even believe how many lies I have written on my heart because I have been letting the world tell me who I am for so long.
This is just the beginning of what I’ve been talking about with the Lord I will continue when I have some more complete words from the Lord.
