“Do you trust me?”
It’s a question I would answer without hesitation. Of course I trust the Lord…with my whole heart.
Then why do I find myself at times questioning, doubting, worrying, or hesitating?
The Lord has convicted me. He shed new light on scripture that I’ve read countless times.
James 2: 14-26:
What good is it, if a man claims to have faith but no deeds?
..faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead..
“Was not Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the alter? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did.”
…faith without deeds is dead…
It hit me..
..just like faith, TRUST by itself without belief and action is dead.. no trust at all.
Worrying or doubting = NO TRUST at all. zilch. zero.
The Lord has been putting my trust in Him to the test….daily.
2 weeks ago we were in Chaing Mai, Thailand, about to journey back to Bangkok for our month 8 debrief. This is a time where the whole squad comes together and meets with support staff from America for different teaching sessions and to see how each team is doing.
Before we left that Tuesday morning the Lord woke me up really early to go downstairs and pray. I thought that I would stay in bed and pray. He quickly came back with,
“How are you positioning yourself Michelle?
Are you posturing yourself to fall back asleep or to intercede and receive from Me?”
I let out a deep sigh and groggily tiptoed down stairs with a pounding headache I still had from the previous day.
I fell down on my knees.
As I was praying I realized I've been carrying burdens I'm not meant to carry and worrying about so many things.
One being debrief… concerned about different team issues, potential team changes, wondering if I’d have the words to speak, or strength to make it through the week. I didn’t feel ready or prepared for what was ahead.
As I was praying for our squad- the Lord hit me with…“Do you TRUST me?”
Yes, Lord… of course I trust you.
“Then, WHY are you worried? And why are you carrying all of these burdens?”
As I was finishing my prayer time the thought of fasting coffee for the week came up. Now, I’m not sure if it was my brilliant idea or if it was from the Lord. But all I could think of is YEA, RIGHT… give up coffee on the busiest, craziest week of my entire Race? No thanks..” …again I heard…
“DO YOU TRUST ME?”
Yes… but my head is STILL pounding for not having coffee yesterday.
“Am I not enough? Do you trust that I can heal your headache? Do you trust that I can give you more strength and energy than any caffeinated beverage?”
At that moment I had the choice whether or not I would walk out my trust in Him.
I laid my hands on my head and prayed healing for my headache.
I proclaimed..
God you will heal my headache
I TRUST you … You alone will give me everything I need for this week..
MORE than any hot cup of coffee.
I surrender all these burdens and exchange them for your PEACE.
As I walked up the stairs, no joke, my headache was completely gone! I felt the healing touch of my Savior and physically felt burdens lifted as supernatural peace and joy come over me.
Now, I’m not gonna lie- Debreif was one CRAZY week! Our squad has gone through some pretty intense stuff this year and many of us were feeling beaten up and bruised. Many issues were finally coming to the surface that needed be completely dealt with. The Lord continued to challenge my faith and trust in Him. Yet, through it all I didn’t have ONE cup of coffee and in exchange the LORD gave me so much ENERGY, peace, JOY, strength, and insight. I had the MOST energy I’ve had all race. I should have been going LOCO and completely exhausted beyond functioning, instead I was joyful and at ease the entire week.
As I look back at that week I can see how He carried me each day. At times it felt so supernatural. He’d give me specific words to speak over people- things that were so random. I would doubt if that came from me and wanted to ask the person questions before I said anything … but then I'd hear Him say, “Do you trust me? Then walk and speak it like you trust me and with the authority I have given you."
I've realized it's one thing to say I trust Him, and it's another thing to walk out that trust…
….without worrying or douting.
What good is it, if a man claims to have trust but no deeds?
..trust by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead..
ps I'm currently in MALAYSIA!!
more blogs to come.. with pictures next time! I'm so bad at keeping up with this thing…
love & miss.
