How do I even begin to explain training camp?
Better question: How do I explain how God worked in my life through training camp?
I could go on for days about training camp stories. That one time we slept on a bus but we didn’t sleep at all, instead worshiped the Lord all night long. That one time we slept under a tarp in a swamp. That one time we had a team building exercise and I was “unconscious” for an hour while a squadmate carried me on her back (shoutout to Kaitlynn Boyd for carrying me all the places!). That one time everything we did turned into a dance party. That one time we ran for miles, hiked for even more, did hundreds of pushups, situps, and various other exercises. That one time our squad was plagued with bug bites and no medicines to treat them. That one time we ate mysterious foods every day with no utensils. That one time we took showers with buckets. That one time I hung out in a port-a-pot, just to get 5 minutes of alone time (introvert life!). That one time the Lord took a group of 45 strangers and turned them into a family, to laugh with, to cry with, and to do life with. That one time, that one time, that one time… seriously this only scratches the surfaces of the stories. And, believe me, God showed up in BIG ways in our lives during these stories. I don’t want to minimize what the Lord did in the stories, in these moments.
But, Papa, which story do I tell that most adequately reflects You?
*spoiler alert* there is nothing adventurous about this story, but it’s simply a story of how God moved in my life at training camp, how He is teaching me, loving me, and relentlessly pursuing me.
It’s Tuesday night and we are at the end one of our nightly sessions. The room is filled with many crying people, as they’re processing through the lessons that God is teaching them. The girl two seats over from me is crying alot.
It was a great session, sure. I learned alot, sure. But, if I’m being honest, I don’t feel God stirring my heart. I think to myself, “Maybe my heart is hard. Maybe I am desensitized.. God, what am I missing? Please, tell me what You want me to hear from that lesson.”
As I am praying, a staff person from Adventures In Missions makes her way down my aisle of chairs and sits in the one next to me, to pray for the crying girl, I’m sure.
She then proceeds to put her arms around ME! She envelopes me in the most maternal hug and kisses me on the top of the head. I swear, in that moment, the very arms of God were holding me. Right there, in the middle of nowhere Georgia, the Lord is holding me in His Arms and kissing me on the top of the head!
The staff woman begins to pray for me, she says “The Lord wants you to know that you are worth everything to Him. You are worth the price of His Own Son, and if He had to send Him again for you, He would. When you feel it, you are His, and when you don’t feel it, you are STILL His. You are His beloved child, He loves you immensely, and you are safe at rest in His Arms.” Then she stands up and walks away.
Now I am the crying girl.
I feel the Presence of the Lord now.
I hear Him speak to me, “Michelle, I know you are scared”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry.”
“You are safe at rest in My Arms. And, my love, when you are Here, in My Presence, fear MUST leave. It is not welcome Here.”
“I’m just scared. I’m scared of losing my relationships, my friendships, and my life here in the States. I’m afraid I won’t get those back. I’m afraid of letting people down, of not being brave, of failing You. I’m afraid of being unsafe, or getting sick or dying. I am wayyy out of my comfort zone here”
“Do you trust Me?”
“What? Yes, of course.”
“Michelle, do you trust Me?”
“…. I want to, Papa.”
“Then please trust Me when I tell you this: You are my child. You are worth everything to me. You are my most prized possession. I am Your Heavenly Father,I will take care of you and I won’t let you go. Ever. You are safe at rest in My Arms, my love. Out of your comfort zone is exactly where you need to be for this journey I am about to take you on, and it’s going be hard, and it’s going to be good. All you have to do is trust Me; I’ll take care of the rest.”
I confess to you, my friends, that I am scared of what this next year is going to look like, what will happen while I’m on the Race, and even a little bit scared of how God will work in my life. But I think that life begins at the end of our comfort zone. And I think being in God’s Presence happens at the end of our comfort zone, as well. And in His Presence, fear MUST leave.
And if this is all true, then there is nowhere else I’d rather be than outside of my comfort zone.
There is nowhere else I’d rather be than here in Your Arms, Papa.
“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Psalms 27:13-14
