Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t hate children. I don’t think they are awful little creatures. I think kids are cute and I, sometimes, even enjoy them from a distance, but frankly I have not a clue what to do with them.
Really though, will someone tell me what I am supposed to do with them? Or say to them?
Last month, when I found out my team was going to be living at an orphanage and working with children, let’s just say I was less than thrilled.
Children’s ministry is just not my passion.
When we arrived to our Cambodian village, there they were. Forty little faces staring back at me as I stepped out of the van. And in that moment, I knew it was going to be a long month.
For the first couple of days we were at the orphanage, I did whatever I was asked, I taught, I played, I attempted to interact with the kids. But my heart wasn’t in it. I was as emotionally removed from the kids as I could be and as physically distant as I could get away with.
Then out of nowhere, one of the little boys decided he really liked me. He began to follow me all the places. He would just plop down in my lap anytime I was sitting. And when I left the room, he would immediately seek me out, grab my hand, and bring me back again. I have no idea why he did this, I offered nothing to him (this isn’t one of those statements where someone is modestly dishonest, and if you don’t believe me, please reread the previous paragraphs).
I had no idea what to do with him. Obviously, I knew how to take care of him, like he needs clothes, food, and a place to sleep, but I had no idea how to interact with him. And it didn’t take him long to notice this either.
The first few days of our awkward little friendship he was content to just let me be present and mostly silent. He was okay just sitting there with me, because I think he understood that I didn’t know what to do, believe me we didn’t need a translator for him to understand that. After some time though, he took the task upon himself to teach me how to interact with a kid. He would look at me, with his big, brown eyes, and say something to me in Khmer. The first time he did this, I just stared at him, I had no idea what he was saying or what to say back. He repeated himself, in Khmer. And again, I just stared at him. He sighed really dramatically and spoke ,in Khmer,once more. I, not knowing what else to do, finally responded to him with some really random English phrase. He smiled and patted my hand, content with my response and our tiny conversation, which neither of us understood but he simply wanted us to talk. We would go on to have many, many extensive conversations like this, some even real conversations, meeting in the middle with broken English and Khmer. He began to teach me about playing with kids. One time he ran away from me, and in his mind, I was supposed to chase him and catch him, when he turned around and found me standing where he left me, he, with all the grace, came back for me, grabbed my hand and pulled me along with him. He would bring me all the toys and show me how to play with them all. We would go on to play for hours and hours. All the games and all the fun.
One night, in particular, was monumental in shifting my perspective of children. We were having a movie night, watching Frozen with all the kids in the orphanage. This little boy is sitting in my lap, he’s laughing at the little talking snowman on the screen, nothing unusual or out of the ordinary. Then out of nowhere, the Lord began to speak to me. He told me to stop. Just stop. Stop distancing myself from this little boy. “He is mine. This is my child. I love him infinitely more than you can even imagine. I called you to be My Hands and Feet, please start acting like it. I am calling you to love this child, all of these children, and children all over the world, like I do. Don’t be afraid to look like a fool to bring My son joy, don’t be afraid to love him and and let him love you, don’t be afraid to talk to him, to teach him about Me, to train him in the way he should go. Please, I am calling you out to love My children, to pour out every piece of your heart and yourself to love them”.
2 things I never thought I would say:
I like kids.
I cried while watching Frozen.
There’s this boy who lives in Cambodia, he’s six years old and his name is Grum. His home is an orphanage and his only family is 39 other children who share the same roof. There’s nothing particularly spectacular to note about him. He’s a kid like any other kid. He likes to play a lot. He’s learning how to read and write and snap his fingers and ride a bike. He can be a bit bratty when he’s tired and sometimes he picks on the other kids. He cries when he’s hurting and laughs really hard when he’s having fun. But, boy, do I love him. I love him. Because I love him, because I love him, because I love him. No reasons needed. This six year old boy in Cambodia taught me how to like children, how to interact with children, and to love children deeply.
I left a big piece of my heart in the tiniest Cambodian village with 40 beautiful children that, I can for the first time say, I loved with every part of me.
My team and I arrived in Vietnam this week. We are, again, working with orphans, in a few different capacities. For the safety of the kids and our contacts, I have to be careful with the information I put on the Internet about this month because Vietnam is a closed country, meaning sharing the Gospel is illegal. I am excited for this month to see how Papa continues to teach me about children!
I have attached some pictures from our month Cambodia! Enjoy!!
Grum, the six year old boy who taught me so much.
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