It’s
weird that I’ve only been gone a little over two months. I feel like
I have already experienced so much. Its hard to put into words what
being on the race is like. And while I see God doing amazing things
when I’m out ministering…its the things He is stirring up within my
soul that are the most challenging. So yes…I have seen people
commit their lives to Christ, I have prayed healing over people, I
have seen a woman literally be set free of darkness before my eyes, I
have experienced the Holy Spirit in ways I never thought possible,
but there is so much more in the subtleties of everyday life that is
transforming me.
And
it is hard to process my random life. Each day is so different. Take
for example a few nights ago I was helping with a youth drop in
center in a small city outside of Belfast. We were walking around the
small town trying to invite youth to come to an evening activity. We
walk up to this abandon house where the teenagers between 13-17 hang
out and get drunk most nights. So I just walk up with some teammates
and just try to start conversation. And these teenagers are all
dressed up. Girls in tight outfits and layers of make-up, smoking and
fairly drunk at 8pm. There is a definite sense of darkness not only
over this area but the town.
And
I think…what can I possibly say to these teens? In thirty minutes
what can I possibly offer? And I get frustrated. I was overwhelmed
with the burden of how much they need Jesus. I wish I could just say
a few quick words and take away the pain I sense in there lives and
show them the life that Jesus longs for them to have. It’s a humbling
place to be. All I have to offer has to come from God. I got nothing.
Or what about my friend Anne
who is 55 and seen a lot of pain in her life? On my own human terms I
have no common ground with someone from a different country, life
experience, social class, and beliefs. But on Tuesday I will go help
her clean out a room in her home. She is quite a spunky lady that
could make any sailor blush with some of her stories and jokes.
Haha…She is fabulous!
The good news is that I’m not
on my own. It’s not about my agenda and what I would like to see
happen each day. Although I can’t lie…I usually have my own ideas
of how I’d like God to show up that day and by what time. All I can
do is go love and serve with what God has given me. He is already at
work. He is always beckoning His children to Him. So I will listen
for His voice and use the discernment He has given me to join in with
His work.
I wish I had something more
profound/interest/funny to say…but not so much today.
