Every Sunday before I leave the church service, I hear the words “You are loved.” And I never really paid much attention to them. Until a couple of weeks ago. I was talking with my mentor about feeling loved by God and was struggling with the whole concept. In growing up in church, I heard the verses saying how much God loved me and knew it in my head all my life. And I never doubted it, but the past couple of months, I’ve been wrestling with what that actually means and looks like in my life. I know that God loves me, but when was the last time I really felt God’s love? Then life happened the past couple of weeks.
A couple of weeks ago, I had a conversation with someone from my church asking me about my trip and fundraising. She asked me if I had done anything with church. It’s something that had crossed my mind, but still being somewhat new to my church, I wasn’t sure how the process for getting support all worked. So I told her I wasn’t sure how to go about it. So she said to send her my letter and she would take it to the missions board at church and really advocate for me. So I sent it to her about week later. A few days after that, I received an email from her and I was reading it on my way out of work. It stopped me in my tracks and I almost started to cry. [Those of you who know me well know that crying isn’t my first emotion I display to happy news like that.] My church was going to support my trip. Not that I thought it was impossible to happen, but I was just blown away by it all and God’s detail of how I didn’t do anything but share my story, and the rest was all in His timing.
Fast forward a week. I was visiting my dad in Virginia. We had just found our seats at church and still had a few minutes before the service started. All of the sudden, someone taps me on the shoulder and proceeds to hand me some cash. [WHAT?!?] It was one of my parents’ friend who had heard I was going on my trip and believed in missions and wanted to help me out.
Then in the service, someone from Compassion International was sharing for the message and talked so much about caring for the widows and orphans and missions. Once again, I felt so confirmed in my decision to go on the World Race.
As we were walking out to the car, we ran into some other friends of my parents. They had already heard about my trip through them, so they were asking me how I was doing and how fundraising was going. The woman proceeds to tell me she is on their missions board and the next meeting they are having is in September. She said she wanted to have one of my letters to take to the board because she wants their church to support me. [You’ve got to be kidding me, God!] That was maybe the second time I’ve been to that church, but yet, they believed in missions and what I was going to be a part of. Such an awesome couple of hours where there was nothing felt but extreme love from the Lord.
Fast forward to yesterday at work. I had to work a longer Saturday shift so I went in the afternoon and worked until we closed. Sometimes those are really hard shifts to jump into because Saturdays are busy with so many people to help out. Well, I no more than twenty minutes into my shift when a lady asks for my assistance. She was looking for a certain shirt and we didn’t have it, so I proceeded to see if I could order it for her. It ended up working out so we were talking as I was getting her information. Turns out, she lived in the town I went to for band camp in high school. I told her that and she asked me when I graduated high school. I told her and then she asked me about college and if I was doing something related to my degree. I told her I wasn’t really. Then she asked if I was doing what I wanted to do with my life. I told her not really, but I was going to be working here until the end of the year because I was going to travel for eleven months. She asked what I would be doing. I told her missions. She then looked at my name tag and then said, “I’ll be praying for you, Michelle”. I told her, “Thanks, I really appreciate that.” [And I so did. I mean when was the last time I had a customer tell me that they would be praying for me?! Definitely never.] Then she started to ask me a million other questions, including one about how I was paying for it. I could barely get my answer to a question out before she had another one. But when she asked me about money for the trip, I told her I was fundraising. Then she asked, “Do you have a card or anything with information for how I can give to your trip?” [WHAT?!?!] I didn’t have anything with me, but then remembered she had a receipt so I proceeded to write the site of my blog to where she could go to give and also read about my trip. She was so excited to get that info and was excited to be able to read about my trip. At that point, I was sweating bullets because my adrenaline was going and I just couldn’t believe what was going on and the twenty minutes I had just spent talking with a stranger. We then said our goodbyes and told her that I hoped to see her again in the store before I left for the World Race.
I walked away wondering, “How did that even happen?!?” And the only answer I could come up with was the Holy Spirit. I had no intentions of telling that woman about my trip when I first started helping her out. But the Spirit had planned a divine intervention started by a prompting for me to say something about where she was from. It’s crazy how having a willing heart to talk to someone and engage in simple conversation can go so much farther than I ever anticipate.
Among those couple of weeks, I began to talk more with people from my team. We have a group chat going and have done some google hangouts. It’s been nice to be getting to know people before we are all thrown together for eleven months.
[Sidenote: I had been talking to my mentor about friendships and such on the race and how I was a little worried about it. Not that I’ve ever really had trouble making friends. I mean, I’ve come out of every summer I’ve worked at a camp with at least one really great and deep friendship that still exists to this day. But still, I was concerned especially with the ministry we would be doing. I know how important relationships are especially in doing ministry. Well, we were talking and I was saying how great it was to have one friend to connect with, maybe even before the race started. To feel like I had someone in my corner and be able to be real with, especially in this time of preparation]
So throughout the past few weeks, I have connected with another girl on our team. One night, there was a bunch of us talking on Google hangout and people slowly started to head out for the night. It didn’t take long before it was just me and another girl. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go since we hadn’t really talked before and didn’t know each other at all. We ended up talking for an hour or so. The past couple of weeks we have texted and talked a few more times. I’ve realized the past week that this girl is the friend I was praying for. Such an answer to my prayers. It’s so great having someone to have freak out moments with about the race, to challenge and encourage one another as we are preparing for this next chapter. Definitely an answer to my prayers and another way God has shown me His great love.
So these past couple of weeks, I have really felt the Lord’s love. Nothing but love. In His provision financially for my trip. I mean, I went from about $4,000 in my account a month ago, to now having $9,000. [How does that even happen?!?] Only because God loves me. That’s the only explanation I can give anyone. In His provision for friendships. Definitely love from the Father.
So the only thing I can really say about these past few weeks, is that I am so so loved by my Father and have never felt it more deeply than I have now.
