Training camp has come and gone. 10 days. 10 days that began with strangers and ended with a new family that I love so much. And as I sit in a coffee shop, and take the time to reflect on those 10 days, I’m not really sure where to even begin.
God for sure met me where I was at in the beginning of training camp. But He didn’t let me stay where I was at, but stretched me outside of my comfort zone. He stretched me in ways I wasn’t expecting. He made my comfort zone a little bit bigger by the end of the 10 days.
He taught me so much, and I could probably write about 10 or more blogs about all that I learned. But I’ll spare you for now. The key thing that the Lord taught me was that even though I have the thought that I should “know better”, He still sees me past my sins and sees me as worthy of His love.
For a few years, I have struggled with a certain sin. I’m not going to go into details at all. But growing up in the church, I knew better. And growing up, I had the mentality that I wouldn’t ever get into that sin because I knew better. But guess what? It still happened. I still fell as easily as someone else. So because I had this attitude that I should have known better, there was the shame that I wasn’t worthy of His love. I had a hard time convincing myself, or rather let the Lord speak into my heart that I was enough. That He didn’t see me for my sin, but rather saw me as His daughter.
So here I was at training camp, with the burden and shame of sin resting on my shoulders. But I knew I didn’t want to go into this journey around the world with such a close community with this shame on my heart. So I decided to be free. And share with some of the people around me. And what I found is that I wasn’t alone. Not to glorify sin at all, but there is something about not being alone in sin that is so freeing. That we are not alone. And not fighting alone. And also, when we share with one another, we are just bringing more and more light to the darkness. But simply talking about it with one another, I was able to find this freedom.
I found the freedom that God still sees me as His daughter. That I am still so worthy of all His love, not just a sliver of His love. Not just when I perform up to a certain standard. But all the time.
After that day of training camp, I felt free. Our squad kind of joked around and loosely tossed around the phrase “Be free”. But it just rang so true to me during the week. Because I was honest and put myself out there a bit, there was this weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt like I could truly be free and be me. And as the week continued, I found myself enjoying living that way. And decided that was who I wanted to be going forward. There was no turning back. But continually taking steps to be free and be me. Michelle Ruth Mason. Loved and so worthy of the Lord’s love no matter what I do.
So that’s just a glimpse of what the Lord was doing in my heart during training camp. There’s a ton more to share with you, with more information of what life is going to look like while on the World Race. But before I shared all that with you, I wanted to let you know what was going on in my heart. Because my thoughts are that before I can see what God is doing in the rest of the world, I need to continue to let God work on my heart and prepare it for what is ahead.
Although I went to training camp, and I’m so excited for leaving in January, there is still so much ahead for me back home. Be praying for me and my team as we are trying to process what all happened at training camp. Be praying as we are trying to remain present in whatever place we are at. It’s hard to be home again when there is so much ahead of us. Pray that I will be fully present here in Indiana but yet still take time to prepare my heart and my mind for what is ahead as well. Balance, I guess is a way you can sum up what to pray for. Being 100% in the here and now so that I can be 100% absent in the future.
Thank you so much for all your prayers and support along the way. I am so excited to share with you that I need about $1200 more to be fully funded! So crazy and incredible. I would love to be fully funded before I leave in January so that I may be able to be fully focused on ministry and where I’m at. Will you help me get there? Thanks again for your love and support. The Lord has blessed me so greatly by all of you!
