I’ve got to testify. I had my reservations about coming on this race because of my race. When I began researching the world race, I blog stalked every brown face I could find. Out of the thousands of alumni racers and racers on the field, I only ran across about 15 people. I knew my color could potentially be a struggle because of the way of the world and I didn’t want to have to deal with that. After much prayer, I made the decision to go whether I experienced racism or not. Unsurprisingly, I did.
In the first three months in Central America, I observed many people stop and stare at me. Some even asked to take pictures with me because, well, they’d seen very few (if any) brown faces aside from mass media. However, it was on a crowded double decker bus in the Republic of Macedonia when I was first called the word “nigger”. I’ve never been called that before- not even in the USA. My mother always told me, “it’s not what you are called, it’s what you respond to.” So, I didn’t respond or turn around, but being the only African-American I’d seen in the country (or even in any of the countries we’d lived), I knew they were talking to me. In Albania, as I was walking to a coffee shop with some squad mates, an older Albanian man began yelling obscenities at me as I walked by… some of the things were so bad, I’d rather not repeat. Monkey sounds and “Hey you African girl” are also things I’ve heard as I walk the streets in Southeastern Europe. Death and life are in the power of the tongue and contrary to popular belief, words do hurt.
But you know what I realized?
Each day, I’m looking more and more like Christ. In the beginning, It really annoyed me to hear negative comments directed toward me especially since I care(d) about how people perceive me. I realized as the months went on, I began to react differently to these comments. I now have a deep compassion for these people, not because they curse at me and call me names, but because I realize their callousness comes from a place of brokenness. Many of them have never even heard the name Jesus. As a stranger, their anger had nothing to do with me personally.
I also learned God is a redeemer and loves me so much.
In the beginning of my time in Albania, I was growing tired of the racism and felt like I hadn’t met anyone with a kind word to say to me. This particular day, I was mentally and emotionally drained and my finances were also drained. My team and I went to a crepe place to get breakfast. We only receive a small amount of money for our meals and had to use some of our own money for our breakfast if we wanted coffee, tea or juice. I didn’t have extra money for those extras.
As we entered the breakfast place, there was an Albanian woman seated eating a crepe filled with delicious fruits. As I walked by her, I saw her stare at me and immediately was nervous she would say something negative to me. As my team sat down for a while, she asked one of my teammates who was close by her to call me over to her. My heart sank. “Oh goodness, not again”, I thought. Reluctantly, I walked over and she asked me to sit down. She introduced herself to me and told me she was going to pay for my full breakfast because she “had never had a friendship with a Black person before”. She then asked me about myself and my life. I got to share a bit of my heart and my identity with her and it felt good for someone to take interest in me because of my race. God knew I needed some restoration.
In Paul’s letters, he told Timothy to take his share of suffering as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. Paul was grateful to Jesus because He gave him strength to persevere and considered him faithful putting him into ministry. I can say the same thing to any African-American reading this and contemplating the World Race.
So, does racism exist? Yes, absolutely.
If you are African-American will you experience it while on the World Race? Maybe.
Will you suffer from it (even on the inside)? Probably, at first.
Should you be worried or concerned about it? Not at all.
God is sovereign and if He called you to this race, He won’t leave you or forsake you. That’s His promise and all that really matters.
1 Peter 4:12-14: Dear friends, do not be astonished that a trial by fire is occurring among you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice in the degree that you have shared in the sufferings of Christ, so that when his glory is revealed you may also rejoice and be glad. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the spirit of glory, who is the spirit of God, rests on you.
XOXO,
Belle
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