At training camp we listened to a speaker discuss worship styles. I love social justice and working to be the change I want to see in this world. My favorite bible verse is James 2:26 (if you don’t know it, this is your opportunity to get your Bible out and start studying… haha). In order for me to connect with God, I have to first comprehend His Word and next, I need to live it out. I see God in the needy, the poor and the imprisoned. There is so much opportunity for redemption and spiritual growth in those situations. I also feel God when I am in the hospital and see someone miraculously healed or someone with such inner strength endure things I could only wish I was brave enough to… a strength I know can only be from God. I’ve always had an issue with others suffering while I am doing well in life. I’d rather go without than see someone suffer. For a long time, I wondered why more folks weren’t like me. But I realized, everyone has their own style of worshiping God and that is totally okay. When it was revealed that my main worship style was through activism, I wasn’t the least bit surprised.
At one of my ministry sites, there was a young girl with Cerebral Palsy. She is the sweetest little girl. When I first met her, my first instinct as a nurse was to do a complete physical assessment. However, my resources were limited so I just did a visual assessment. I found lots of head lice in her hair. It was something so common in the states and so easy to correct there. But this was a special case. She had so many nits in her hair it was almost impossible to get rid of with just the lice treatment and the comb. Her hair needed to be cut off.
But I was scared to say something.
I have a big issue with perception. I care about how I am perceived. Sad, but true. That last thing I want to be is an arrogant American who thinks she knows it all. But, the fact of the matter was she had lice. Lots of it, and it would only get worse…. and possibly spread to other people. There were other health issues there as well and my heart ached for her.
I prayed about it that night. The next day, it was still on my heart to do something. I overheard my friend and squad mate Kelly talking about some issues she had with the way food was being served to the same girl. She is a speech therapist who specializes in feeding and had simple suggestions for like sitting up 90 degrees instead of lying in a supine position during feeding times. Improper feeding can lead to aspiration, which can lead to pneumonia. Untreated pneumonia can lead to death. Knowing we both had these thoughts, I sat her down and talked to her about it. We prayed about it and made the decision to set up a meeting with the ministry contact.
To our surprise, our ministry contact had the same issues with her staff and how things were being handled. She just needed some expertise and some hands to help the situation. It was totally a God thing! Kelly and I were able to complete two separate in-service videos about lice and proper feeding of children with special needs. We were also able to get rid of the lice by cutting all of her beautiful shoulder length hair off to just a half of an inch. She still looked beautiful, her quality of life improved (and will continue to improve) and her entire morale changed after she was rid of hair lice. It made me so happy to see that change in her.
I am glad I had Kelly with me to assist in the work that was done at that ministry site. If she wasn’t there, who knows if I would have let my fear of “the wrong perception” get the best of me. I love the fact the God works for our good, though. He puts me in situations like this one all of the time. He knows me inside and out. But in the end, I need to let my fear of “being perceived the wrong way” go. Only God can judge me and in the end, as long as I am doing what I believe to be right, it shouldn’t matter how I am perceived. My heart is always be in the right place.
Please pray that I rid myself of wanting to always be perceived in the “right” light. I could potentially miss an opportunity to minister to someone… and that would hurt me immensely. I have a lot of things I need to work on… but I know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose. His word is so sovereign. His Will shall be done no matter what. So, while I am working on this perception thing, I am resting in that fact.
XOXO,
Belle
