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Are we serving?  While at home I know I was active in the church, doing good things but never doing what I felt called to.  I always felt like what I was called to do at home was unattainable. Likely due to how I felt I was preceived. The comparisons I have received in the past have been to that of a prostitute. Which I had never considered to be a possibility, but when it comes from a wonderful woman of God  you begin to wonder if you're missing something or if they are more in tune with God than you are. Trust me, for months that comparission was something that I had struggled with and it crushed my ability to go to church and feel like I was truly loved by God. Lies like how I looked coincided with how much God loved me. I had disconnected the idea of fellowship and that in my church it didn't belong there and that I would just go and become furniture.  Also, no matter what my flesh seemed to want I would persist to go to church. As hard as it was for me those times, it was a blessing for some people to pour into my heart. I am so blessed to have best friends to pour love on me and fill my heart with more hope that I am loved. That would continuously remind me that those words that seemed to haunt me each and every Sunday and every other day I went to church were lies from the depths of hell. 
As much as I believe that those words that were said to me were lies. I believe that even a prositute is seen as beautiful by Jesus Christ. I believe without a doubt Jesus would choose to spend his time with every prostitute and tell her she is loved. That she can come to him at any moment, without any shame and that He will bring redemption to her soul. I believe this because the Jesus I love brought me across the sea to tell a prostitute that she is loved. To tell her she is more, that there is hope for tomorrow and that there is a mighty God in heaven who adores her. Sure there may be many other reasons too, but for Grace to know how much she is loved by Jesus is more than enough.Thi
I truly struggled with posting this as a blog. It was something that had occured in my life, and honestly I have not thought of it in a few months. I was just spending time with my papa today and it simply came out.  I prayed and sought out advice from some wise and beautiful team mates as to whether this would be appropriate to post, which obviously they thought I should. I just wanted to make sure my intentions were not out of malice, but to bring light even if it hurts to get there.

Are we serving?  While at home I know I was active in the church, doing good things but never doing what I felt called to.  I always felt like what I was called to do at home was unattainable. Likely due to how I felt I was preceived. The comparisons I have received in the past have been to that of a prostitute. Which I had never considered to be a possibility, but when it comes from a wonderful woman of God  you begin to wonder if you're missing something or if they are more in tune with God than you are. Trust me, for months that comparission was something that I had struggled with and it crushed my ability to go to church and feel like I was truly loved by God. Lies like how I looked coincided with how much God loved me. I had disconnected the idea of fellowship and that in my church it didn't belong there and that I would just go and become furniture.  Also, no matter what my flesh seemed to want I would persist to go to church. As hard as it was for me those times, it was a blessing for some people to pour into my heart. I am so blessed to have best friends to pour love on me and fill my heart with more hope that I am loved. That would continuously remind me that those words that seemed to haunt me each and every Sunday and every other day I went to church were lies from the depths of hell. 

Maybe for you too there have been situations that have occured at church or simply said to you from a christian that have pierced your soul and seemed at the moment would never heal. Maybe you still hurt. Maybe you don't go to church anymore because of it. Something I am constantly told and truly believe is that words are creative. They can call people up to greater potential than they could imagine or crush their spirit. Bring life or death. My hope and prayer for myself is that I may always bring life to people, and if situations arise I would hope that people would love me and bring it to my attention so that correction could be made.


As much as I believe that those words that were said to me were lies. I believe that even a prositute is seen as beautiful by Jesus Christ. I believe without a doubt Jesus would choose to spend his time with every prostitute and tell her she is loved. That she can come to him at any moment, without any shame and that He will bring redemption to her soul. I believe this because the Jesus I love brought me across the sea to tell a prostitute that she is loved. To tell her she is more, that there is hope for tomorrow and that there is a mighty God in heaven who adores her. Sure there may be many other reasons too, but for Grace to know how much she is loved by Jesus is more than enough.