I have been praying the race would get more difficult. Praying to be challenged. To be pushed to a point where only God could figure out my situation and if He did not than I would be lost.
What does that journey look like?
Long train rides, plane rides and bus rides have never been tough for me. To be honest I enjoy them. Although that may be due to the fact that, that seems to be where God gives me the most and best rest. I have a knack for sleeping in the most random places and in the strangest ways. If you know me well enough you will know I can literally fall asleep anywhere. Whether on a rock, under a car, beside a car, under seats on a bus/train, and with my feet up in the air while my knees are in my chest and my head between my knees. These are just a few examples, and others could likely atest to many, many other places and ways I sleep.
Sharing things has also never been a problem for me either. Back home and here on the race, it was never something that I struggled with. From lending my clothes, to sharing a laptop, hand cream and my camera. Which my camera to be honest I thought would be more difficult. However not so much.
I realize at this point you are thinking, how fantastic you don't have struggles, but on the contray I am simply not to the point of my struggles. You see they are much harder to get out. You would know. So often we put off what is hard to cope with.
In my case the things that the Lord has been working on me the past four months is my voice and walking in the boldness that is within, but has certainly been a struggle to come forth. The previous ideas that I carried were very much the kind that said 'if you have nothing good to say, don't say it'. Which to some extent I agree to be true.
However I think the idea of 'good' to people personally is simply what is what they think is good for them. With that we have created a society that is often offended by words that are meant to build us up into the great men and women we are supposed to be. Rather we now avoid the awkward words to call people up. To point out habits that are not of God, simply because we fear to offend people. That is where I was and some days am. It is a struggle and one that continues to need refining. My hope is to continue to grow with wisdom and to bring truths to light that need to be spoken. With of course the trust in God that the words do not come of my own forming but of His.
