This wasThis was the question I was asked while standing in a playground crying my eyes out while hugging children.
This was the question I was asked while standing in a playground crying my eyes out while hugging children.
My reply was only that "I am leaving." Which may have come out more like…."I….I…I….am…leeaving…"
Nicolas says : "and then you come back.." not a question but more of a statement. Since everyday I would leave, but come back the next day and we would play and run and laugh more than we did the previous day.
It was not until I said the words "airplane" and "moving" that Nicolas understood what I meant. Which was when he realized the reason I was crying was because it was likely we may never see each other again. When he realized that he froze. As I held him and hugged him for as long as I possibly could. Telling him how much I love him and how amazing he was. He just stood there starring at me.
As I sent him into the house for din din and I walked out of the gate looking back at him, looking at me from the doorway I had to flee. I had to. It was all I could do. As I made my way down the road and around the corner so I was out of view, I just crumbled into tears. Barely able to stand, Kristen and Dusty saw me and literally held me and hugged me back to our housing.
Where I was given a roll of toilet paper and collapsed with some of my favourite ladies (Ann, Amanda, Raquel and Jenn) who hugged me and comforted me and let me cry.
Hours later, you would still find me crying. How could it hurt this bloody much? Whenever I hurt leaving people I always always think of Jon Forman (Switchfoot)….the song.. "Your Love Is Strong"…the part where it says …."If it doesn't break your heart it isn't love, it if doesn't break your heart it's not enough…"
Leaving broke my heart. It was one of the hardest things I have had to go through on my list of difficult things. the question I was asked while standing in a playground crying my eyes out while hugging children.
My reply was only that "I am leaving." Which may have come out more like…."I….I…I….am…leeaving…"
Nicolas says : "and then you come back.." not a question but more of a statement. Since everyday I would leave, but come back the next day and we would play and run and laugh more than we did the previous day.
It was not until I said the words "airplane" and "moving" that Nicolas understood what I meant. Which was when he realized the reason I was crying was because it was likely we may never see each other again. When he realized that he froze. As I held him and hugged him for as long as I possibly could. Telling him how much I love him and how amazing he was. He just stood there starring at me.
As I sent him into the house for din din and I walked out of the gate looking back at him, looking at me from the doorway I had to flee. I had to. It was all I could do. As I made my way down the road and around the corner so I was out of view, I just crumbled into tears. Barely able to stand, Kristen and Dusty saw me and literally held me and hugged me back to our housing.
Where I was given a roll of toilet paper and collapsed with some of my favourite ladies (Ann, Amanda, Raquel and Jenn) who hugged me and comforted me and let me cry.
Hours later, you would still find me crying. How could it hurt this bloody much? Whenever I hurt leaving people I always always think of Jon Forman (Switchfoot)….the song.. "Your Love Is Strong"…the part where it says …."If it doesn't break your heart it isn't love, it if doesn't break your heart it's not enough…"
Leaving broke my heart. It was one of the hardest things I have had to go through on my list of difficult things.
