I would say that is one of my most disliked words. Even talking about saying goodbyes to families, friends, and basically everyone I am in love with (which includes many around the world now) makes me cry. Not that cute trickle down the cheak, but more of a gross, hot mess, all over my face and on my clothes cry.
This has happened countless times already on the race, but this month it has been an even more occurance. An occurance that I find brings to life parts of the heart that tell us how much we love by how much it hurts. So I will tell you of some moments where I have found love and it has broken my heart to say goodbye.
Standing on the sand field I see kids running in the distance towards me. Their hands flinging up towards me as they get closer. At this point my brain is running a thousand different ways. Like how much I treasure the moments I have shared with the children. How saying goodbye to them feels like I am ripping a part of my heart out and leaving it in their hands, but praying that in our absence they do not feel abandoned by us but remember how much we love them. How much I will miss them.
Explaining to them how we are leaving and won't be back for a long time or possibly ever might be one of the toughest things I have done. How do you explain you may not see each other again. Trust me it is so hard. Although their suggestion is get a job and stay forever. How much I wish I could do that, but there is so much more. More the Lord has for me to do. Maybe one day I will come back. Maybe this is not our goodbye, just so long for now.
