Yesterday was one of those days where it seemed everything was wrong, even if it wasn't. I woke up still slightly frustrated from the previous evening's feedback.
{ Can I just say sometimes I believe people use feedback as a way to complain. Which there should be feedback for molesting it in such a manner. Making situations about ourselves rather than calling up, by complaining about how we and/or I could be better served. Somehow, these thoughts were my thoughts yesterday. }
The day persisted to bring me to exhaustion. With the morning starting at 5:00 am to change and get the kiddies dressed. Followed by breakfast prep, breakfast, clean up, therapy, washing car seats, and by this time it had not even been 10 am yet.
Lets just say I didn't wake up in the best mood, and my attempt to listen to music { which tends to be what soothes me, and lift my spirits more } and spend time with God was a fail. I found myself frustrated, feeling as if I was giving 110%, while the spirit of comparisson was saying "Gahh…that's all they're doing… { thinking team mates weren't giving their all }…" Again, not the best thoughts.
About 20 minutes before lunch I found myself outside my tent, just crying. I hate feeling disconnected from God. It seemed like all I tried at the time whether it be working more, listening to worship or simply just trying to talk to Him. All that I felt was frustration about the day, ministry and others. No bueno.
By the middle of the day, Jenn { my new team leader } said " Go take a nap, you're doing too much."
At which point, someone said "Michelle can you do this for me?"
And you know what I said? I said "Nope, my team leader told me told me to take a nap" Which I went back to my home and tent and went to sleep. Which happened to help.
Thinking about it now. I had received a note during debrief, that says "My beloved, hear my voice, it calls out to you! My hands hold healing, My voice authority, Come away with me to a deserted place and REST a while. Let my voice be all you hear.."
That is all I needed, and need. Rest, silence, and sometime solice time with God.
