It’s month 3 already! Unexpected change of route – Bulgaria. Our only direction – to pray and simply listen. Listen to the Lord and where he’s leading. So, we (Fuel and Proclaim i61) are doing just that. We’ve been here for 4 days and so far, things have been falling into place. God has really been showering down blessings this week – helpful Christian contacts, places to stay, good food to eat, free Wi Fii, hot showers, and real beds. It has been quite a contrast from last month’s living situation, but coming out of that, I am so much more grateful and appreciative for the simple things in life. I never thought I’d say this but instant coffee has about replaced my previous daily Starbucks addiction (well almost!) I have to check my attitude in it all though. Would I be ok if Bulgaria wasn’t the best of circumstances? What if every single month on this World Race was rough… extremely trying and uncomfortable? Ultimately would I be able to trust Him through it all?
Yesterday morning we were spending a chunk of time in prayer, listening and hearing from the Lord. I am growing to absolutely love these times of personal, one-on-one conversation with God – something I have only recently started to understand and value. As teams we are making an effort to really press into what God has for us here in Bulgaria. We can’t rely on anything but Him and so we come to Him in utter dependence – patiently waiting for His leading. Where to go, who to work with, how long to stay in one place… it’s all up to Him. Until this point, I wouldn’t have been ok without a solid game plan. I love schedules, knowing what’s coming up next and being the first to find out information. God’s been teaching me that I need to leave that up to Him to guide my life. As all this was running through my head, a specific worship song came to mind and I just stood there, filled by His amazing peace. I was overwhelmed by the presence of freedom – I am ready for Him to work through me in any way; to mold me and truly make me His own.
“Your voice has stilled the raging storms. I wait on you and wait for you to lead me. Your still small voice brings me hope. Restore my soul and let all my earthly strivings come to cease. Take from my soul the stain and stress. There will be no death, no pain, the things of old will pass away. Let my ordered life confess the beauty of your peace.”
I’ve heard the song a hundred times but never have I grasped what it fully meant. Then it hit me – this is what I’m doing right now. The stress of having to have it all together is no longer there. My life is no longer consumed by rigid schedules, goals, control, or performance. I’ve never felt more free in my life and yet I have no clue what’s going to happen after the Race, in a few months, or even a few days. I’m perfectly content with that. I’m living in the moment of exactly what God has for me and I’m investing all of me.
Here in Bulgaria our teams still don‘t have everything figured out. I love it – I am confident He will show us the way and make clear our path and direction. Who knows… maybe we’ll do a little couch surfing, stay in a random hostile, or hit up a church floor. Whatever it is I’m ready and pumped to Bring Kingdom!
