I confessed in my last blog that eating was one of the most difficult parts of ministry.
I also said I would discuss other things that have been difficult.
Well, this is the blog for those other things.
These are some things I’m still processing, so if it seems like I’m rambling at times, bear with me.
Andddddd Disclaimer: I do realize probably not all of India is like this – I am only making a generalization for what I’ve encountered during ministry this month.
When contemplating the previous 7 months of the race, I don’t think my heart has felt as hopeless as it has this month.
This month our team has been doing outreach ministry. In the morning we visit homes in the city, and in the evenings we travel to outside communities to preach at Jesus festivals or house churches.
We were forewarned about the way we would be received by the people, but I never thought it would be as frustrating as it has been.
You see, each morning when we do house visits we are asked to pray for people.
“Fair enough,” I think. I can pray.
Most times, though, we aren’t even introduced to the person.
We aren’t given a name or a request.
The pastor simply points to a person and says, “Pray for this person.”
Okay.
So we ask for their name and their request.
And then we pray.
Most times after opening our eyes, though, we see that more people have gathered by, desperately wanting to be prayed for.
More often than not we aren’t given the opportunity to sit down with people and talk with them. Most days we go to people (or rather, they come to us), and we pray…and then pray for each person behind them, too.
As much as I try not to pray generic prayers, it becomes difficult to find the words after praying for so many people.
And, honestly, it’s discouraging at times for different reasons.
-So much of what we’re doing here is planting seeds – we’ll never see the outcome.
-This ministry isn’t as relational as compared to other ministries in previous months.
-When not praying as a team, people will sometimes come up to me after already being prayed over by a teammate, or vice versa – they’ll leave me and go to another person for another prayer.
-Most people confess the Lord as their Savior….yet, they consider Him one a of dozen different gods they serve.
-And, most of all, we are often treated as people with the “golden touch.”
To give you an idea…
-One time a woman bent down as to kiss my feet. I wanted to shake her in that moment and say “do not kiss my feet!”
-It’s not uncommon for people to rush their babies out to us for us to pray for them.
(Pardon the baby booty!)
-It’s also not uncommon for people to take pictures of us up close on their phones.
-The minute we walk into a community, believers and nonbelievers alike approach us to be prayed over.
-Likewise, once a service is over people make their way to us for prayer.
I know I can never know the intentions of their hearts when people ask us for prayer, but the impression I’m given is disheartening.
I’ve come to the conclusion that they either believe we have a special power OR that because of the color of our skin we have a privilege to the Lord’s throne they don’t have.
Oh, how my heart has cried out in frustration the last few weeks.
Never have I ever considered the color of my skin a hindrance until now.
I fear that by not doing something different we’re feeding into the mindset that we’re better or holier people.
So, I’ve tried to convey the message that the Spirit that flows through me is the same Spirit that flows through them.
But I just don’t know if they got it…
Also, never have I ever felt more out of my league when trying to witness to people who serve so many gods in addition to the One True God!
The last time I spoke at a service I tried to convey the love (and absurdity!) of the One True God for His people, in comparison to the gods they serve.
But, once again, I just don’t know if they got it.
It’s ironic to think about Jesus and His ministry and how often people approached Him to be prayed over or to be healed. I wonder what went through His mind in those situations. (I would like to think some sort of frustration, given the amount of times He withdrew from the people and rebuked them for wanting miracles so much).
Yet, because He had compassion and love for the people He still prayed, and He still healed.
And as frustrating and draining this ministry is, all I can do is have compassion and love for these people and pray for them, one by one.
All I can do is pray that they will see the Lord and His love for them that day, and not just me.
