I love names. I love name meanings. Names are beautiful and so important. It’s what God has chosen you to be called. We are each his precious sons and daughters and many of the times we live out to what our name means.
I met Yor in Patong, Thailand. When I think of Thailand, I will forever think of Yor. In previous months before the race and even praying during this past month, I asked God to give me his heart for one.
I cried for this woman on a daily basis. I loved this woman more than I have ever loved anyone else. My heart broke for her and still breaks for her.
Casondra, Ricki and Hope ran into her and she told them how much she loved me, that I was her daughter and that she missed me. My heart rejoiced!!!! Not that I need confirmation from God saying that what I am doing is what he desired but it was a beautiful and humble blessing to know that she loved me as much as I loved her. 
This entire month God has given me a vision of a woman crawling back to God-bruised, battered and broken. Her mouth was bleeding, she had long black hair but her face was unseen. Through the month, I just assumed, “Oh, yay! Yor will fall in love with Jesus.”
On the second to last day of ministry, God revealed to me that the woman in the vision was me. I crawled into his arms and he said, “Yor is yours. I am well pleased and now I will restore you.”
This month has been a battle-a full out battle against Satan and his army in the darkness. I have never been so tired, so dependent on the Lord and broken. I have never felt such heaviness in a place. I have never had the heart to fight for someone until Yor. I fought against lies of doing enough and loving enough.
I asked God about the vision he gave me and why my mouth was bleeding. He said, “Because you spoke truth and love and that’s where Satan tried to get you the most.”
God’s heart has wrecked me. I honestly would never want to feel this heartbreak ever again but if it makes me more like HIM-then bring it on. I know that God has both of our hearts and is healing mine while he is taking care of her.
I got a tattoo that says “Let your light shine” in Thai on my arm. I asked Yor what it meant and she said, “Your light comes from Heaven.”
Hmmm. Close.
Michelle means, “One who is like God.” God gave me a beautiful gift this month- his heart for Yor. This month was the first month where I have fought and learned to live up to my name meaning.
Yor is God’s. She is his precious beloved woman that I have had the privilege of knowing and getting to know. I will forever have this connection with a woman who sold her body in attempt to provide for a better life for her family. My Thailand is YOR and when I think of this country, I will think of Yor. I will forever love her. It’s not my job to worry about her but I have faith that my amazing God will love her more than I ever could and passionately pursue her the way she deserves.
