These past couple of weeks, I’ve been thinking about my past (read the Truth blog more to find out) but especially my relationship with food.
I was addicted to food. You might think, “Food? But we need to eat to live and that’s not a real addiction.” True, but we weren’t meant to live to eat. I ate when I was happy, sad, mad, bored, even sleepy. You name it, I turned to the comfort from my taste buds rather than my King Almighty. I learned because of my gluttonous addiction the weight I have put on through the years was just another way of trying to keep people out.
If people just know me as the funny fun girl, they won’t have to know the real me. They’ll excuse the chubs because my ‘personality’ will outshine the fat. I will never show them how sad and lonely I am so they won’t pity the fat kid.”
Unfortunately, that was my way of thinking.*shudders* LIES!! Yuck! THEY NO LONGER HAVE POWER OVER ME!
Since camp, I haven’t been eating half as much as I was. I eat when I’m hungry. I’ll eat a cookie if I like and I am no longer eating every meal like its Thanksgiving and eating to maximum capacity.
At camp, they said that girls typically gain weight during the World Race. My mind went into pseudo panic mood and for the past couple of weeks kept on vowing to lose 20 pounds.
Then it dawned on me, that’s stupid. God made me who I am. I was made in HIS image. I may have messed it up a bit because of the years of not loving myself and not taking care of my body, but he made me!
So yes, somehow I lost 5 pounds last week, but numbers don’t matter. What matters is that my heavenly King unconditionally loves me and he already paid the price for my sins. I want to be who God wants me to be.. -emotionally, mentally and physically. I want to be the WOMAN, the WARRIOR, the LIGHT that he desires me to be! ..whether that’s 5 pounds less or 20.. I want to live for him and every aspect of my life reflect that.
Ironic that my scale I’ve had for 7 years all of a sudden doesn’t work today? I think not! God is hilarious!
This was taken from my beautiful teammate, Ricki’s blog about Trumpets of One about how we want to be:
2 Corinthians 2:14 “But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere.” This year we want to ooze him. We want to walk down the streets and people hear Him coming through us and smell the fragrance of His word from miles away. We want to bring His light into a dark room. We want to show the world that there is victory in the name of Jesus and that in Him, we will share hope, love, promise, freedom and joy.
People used to say how much confidence, sassiness, sexyness (bahah that was always hilarious to me) I used to ooze and it used to matter so much. They were all surface compliments for the act I had up. But AMEN that God’s love broke down the walls of my lonely and insecure heart. And AMEN that my vapid, shallow obsession of trying to impress everyone was shattered!
If I ooze anything it’s because Christ lives in me! I WANT TO OOZE GOD! I want to let my light shine before men to glorify him. I want to ooze the kingdom, hope and beauty of my King. I want to ooze Jesus Christ. Period. 😉
