I danced my heart out. I danced what I knew. I danced what I didn’t know. I danced what I couldn’t express into words of my love for my God. I reached new levels of intimacy with the Lord. I remember it so clearly. I don’t remember it all. It started with hundreds of eyes on me and quickly turned into just me and God.
Since Tanzania, I had been asking the Lord to be able to dance again. I wanted to dance for him but not me in anyway. It was not much of a surprise to me when Liz/ Spicy asked me to head up the dance off stuff for the squad. One day in Kampala, Jenae had a paper fortune and the one I got was “You will perform at the Awakening Art Show.”
My initial reaction was “Heck no!” But I knew I heard the voice of the Lord say… just wait. Of course I prayed about it and I quickly remembered the vision that the Lord had given me in regards to dance and I knew this was what he desired.
I prayed and asked the Lord what he wanted this to look like. There were different songs I thought I wanted to dance to but then after praying and hearing Bethany Dillon’s Beautiful. I wept. God said that this was my testimony. He has redeemed my identity. He has redeemed me. The Lord showed me what it was supposed to look like. I was able to choreograph a good portion of it but then time and other things got in the way. The day of the performance, God clearly said, “Do not make the rest of it up. If you do-you go back to performance. You go back to dancing for them. Dance for me. Trust. Trust in me that I will give you what you need.” So I did.
I gave a very brief version of my testimony. Thus starting, the RECKLESS ABANDON of myself and just being before the Lord. Before I actually danced, there were a bit of technical difficulties and God knew that I needed that to calm me down. In the process of waiting for the music, I was able to be my silly self and I actually “dropped it like it was hot” in front of people that I did not know and those that know me dearly. Not to mention, a couple of hair flips and shimmies…. Hahahah you know the usual me= mess… but in a good way.
It was over before I knew it. It was me praising the Lord in the way that I felt in that moment. I can’t really describe it.
Prior to dancing, I told Spicy what the Lord said about not performing. She said she was able to tell when the choreography stopped and when I was really free to do whatever I wanted. She said she could see it in my face, in the way that I moved. Everything was just different about me.
Story of my life. That the moment I have stopped preparing what I thought was best, when I finally let go of that control and surrender to the Lord and just be with him, I experience freedom. I experience it in every aspect of my life. When I am experiencing freedom, everything is just different about me..
That’s my prayer for you and me. I pray that you stop choreographing your life and let the Lord guide you and allow him to move in wonderful and amazing ways..
