One of my favorite things in life is pushing paint around on a canvas creating swirls of different shades. Its amazing how 2 colors, if pushed around just right, can make dozens of shades appear on one page. I often like to gently add one or 2 new colors, but it has to be just right. If I push the new colors in too deeply, they lose their uniqueness and blend into the wet paint instead of remaining distinct. If things get too carried away, a few well placed swirls can become grey/brown blobs.
My heart and mind feel like things got a little carried away. The distinctly beautiful colors of who I have become in Christ feel more like an unnatural melding of chaos that has bread something dull and lifeless. I want to live an epic life. But at the moment, it feels more like the beginnings of an epic fail.
I know that I am called to this moment. To be sitting in an airport sipping on BYOTea, enjoying a piping hot chocolate bundt cake, blowing furiously on the paint of my life…. Begging it to dry quickly so the Lord can lay down new, fresh color … leaving this grey as the perfect back drop to accent the crisp fresh colors He is laying overtop.
But all I see in front of me right now is grey.
I’m reminded of the story when the Disciples set out for the other side of the sea and found themselves caught in a terrible storm. Picture the scene…. Dark greys of endless storm clouds touching crashing waves in the night, without the light of the moon or stars. But Jesus broke through the horizons, walking on the water, calling for a faith deeper than the raging ocean and stronger than the howling wind.
If you find yourself with me in the boat, surrounded by swirls of grey, my prayer is for you too.
Jesus, thank you that you meet us in the grey and call us to deny what we see in favor of what we cannot see. You are trustworthy! We can follow You to the impossible places within ourselves as we wait for the paint to dry…. Looking forward to new colors soon to be on scene. Jesus, help us to boldly be who you have called us to be, and not let the colors of our life get mixed in with the call and purpose you have laid down for other people’s lives. We am who you have called to this moment. Help us to paint out these strokes with confidence.
