After being home for a month already, I didn’t realize some of the ways I would be attacked and how hard it would be to stay at home and just Sit. The past week has been very rough for me and the enemy has gotten in my head, but he will not prevail. Life will always have hard times and have things thrown your way to keep you from pushing on. It’s the choice to push through and remember what you’ve learned that glorifies Him. He’s reminding me of that. It’s ok to struggle and feel like I’ve taken steps backward. Hearts don’t change over night. I have the choice to move forward and continue to work on pushing through even in dark times. I haven’t been practicing listening prayer much lately, so as usual He puts a book on my heart as a tool to guide me further in obedience and faith. After my first devotional and talking with Him, He renewed my faith and mind this morning by giving me a verse.
“The Man who healed me told me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk.'” John 5:11
In other words…Don’t just lie there, Do something!
He never gives me scripture, so this meant so much to me to know that I am learning His word more than I thought. He even spoke to me clearly as I asked he would so I could take steps forward with Him.
While sitting, I forgot to keep walking. It creeps up on you and you forget how you got where you are, then you realize you slowed down. You stopped praying often, you stopped listening, you stopped having hope, you stopped focusing on the future, you just Stopped. You stopped all movement. That’s when things go wrong!
Sitting can be a beautiful thing when you use the time right. It can be repetitive, boring at times, lonely, and hard…but it can be SO WORTH IT!
It’s a test of where you mental strength is in relationship with the Lord. This is an ongoing battle for life that I can only grow in with taking steps forward and pushing through.
THIS IS WHAT MY PAPA IS SHOWING ME NOW!
Sitting can be hard if we let our thoughts get away from us. Deception can take over through past memories in people we see, environment, music, etc. This can cause us to ponder on things other than what God wants us to see and how we are supposed to be glorifying Him. Finding Balance in life is a hard thing to do. I have my past life and the person I was before I left and the person God has been changing me to be. There are two versions of myself now that are extreme from each other. It’s learning how to be Myself, but not feel condemned for not being so straight laced.
It Will get messy trying to be the woman of His world and fighting the woman of This world…and I am getting a glimpse of it. And it’s OK!
Loneliness is a huge weakness to invite that deception and take over your thoughts and behaviors. That’s why consistent renewal of mind is so important I’ve learned. Having a relationship with yourself is Key to having a strong mind and pushing through. I must Practice the art of Listening and Commit to it because “He will never leave me”. (Hebrews 13:5)
The enemy can be a real ‘Pain in the Butt’ and will constantly pick and slow you down…LITERALLY. It’s what I’ve been recovering from. (Hahahhahahaha)
I am still on a journey of learning and walking out my faith even though I am here in the states at home. I must renew the mind and push through by proclaiming the victory already won over the enemy. He has NO dominion over my life, or my mind, and he will not steal my JOY any longer.
Through fasting this week, I will be praying for complete healing for me and a friend, along with renewal of mind, as well as my team and the processing of all that God has done in our lives the past couple of months.
If you feel led to fast with us, please do. Even if it’s for one day this week or from a particular meal or food. Pray for a healing/renewal in your own life, for others, and for myself and team. All prayers make a difference because God hears every single one. Join me this week as we make a movement to glorify God.
ONE MORE MONTH TO GO TILL I REUNITE WITH MY RACE FAMILY! So I promise not to waist this time, but to continue learning all that I can even through mistakes to be a better friend, teammate, and sister when I return to them.
Also, I need to raise more money in order to head back out and continue this journey. If the spirit has led you to contribute to my funding, then you can click on the “Support Me” tab to make a donation of choice.
Thank you and Praise be to Jesus and to everyone reading, listening, praying, fasting, donating, and seeking for more in life.
