Ahh, the question asked by so many since I have returned home…How was training camp?
HA, two basic words that meant nothing more than just that, TRAINING CAMP. I entered the training facility on October 15 totally unaware of what was in store for me the next 10 days. The experience was more profound than what those two words will ever mean to me. My life was about to be changed forever.
My journey started back in April and I have been on a fast track of learning and growing in my relationship with the Lord. That being the case, I went into training camp open and vulnerable just as I had been for the past few months in order to continue growing my relationship. I didn’t know the depth that this vulnerability would be tested and put to use.
I began to meet my squad and my heart raced with excitement and fear, simultaneously. I was ready to meet everyone individually and build relationships, but I was still walking in fear of being judged. It only took a day to start connecting with some of my squad mates. Early relationships grew from similarities in personality and commonalities through our walk in life. I was so ready to build an intimate relationship with my Lord, learn from others, and grow in understanding of myself that I whole-heartedly welcomed every conversation with teammates, mentors, coaches, teaching sessions, group activities, and quiet time of prayer. Jesus came to get messy…emotionally, physically, relationally, and socially and so should we. So I embraced this going into camp, so I thought.
I hadn’t grasped the concept that no amount of messiness in our lives is too much for Jesus to clean up. I was trying to clean up my life ON MY OWN.
In Luke 8, Jesus meets a woman who was unclean and thought to be beyond healing. This woman sought Jesus and was healed. He calls her “daughter” and tells her to go in peace. It was her faith that healed her and the same faith that healed me. Jesus knew that I didn’t understand this truth and was patient in my disobedient past. I thought that I had to clean my life up before I could fully go to Him. I wasn’t replacing truth where the lies were in my life so I was living the lies over and over again. Holy Spirit came to me in my complete surrender to Him and then healing and cleansing started to take place in so many damaged areas. Again, this was all because I walked into this journey with openness and vulnerability.
Little did I know that five days into camp I would hit a brick wall. We had a session on Shame… and BAM, my heart was tugged on and the openness and vulnerability was shutting down. God had even more in store for me. I was still in my comfort zone and had not dug deep enough to the ultimate root of many of my struggles. I was being convicted of things I was not aware of, which brought out pain and hurt from my past. Then everything started to make sense and the pieces started to come together in a clear and bright picture for me. Total Freedom was on the verge of breaking loose.
This verse kept coming back to the forefront of my mind, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death” 2 Corinthians 7:10.
I was still living for “This World” and not “God’s World”, I was still living for myself and not for my Lord, I was still living for Law and not Grace, I was still living for control and not trust through my God. Essentially, I was still living for Performance Purpose and not Kingdom Purpose.
When dealing with shame, we tend to hide in different ways. And by doing so, we disconnect from God. I was walking through life with a false self that didn’t think I deserved God’s Grace. With total conviction, repentance, and healing, I discovered my worth and the love my Father has for me. I am worthy of God’s Grace and Love!
The last few days of camp, I can say that I walked the walk with my Lord through conviction…repentance…forgiveness…reconciliation…and finally Redemption!
As these very words were displayed on a screen, the Holy Spirit filled me completely and began to speak to my heart and soul. “For God Alone, oh my soul, wait in Silence, for my Hope is in HIM.” Psalm 62:5
I made a promise to myself and to God that “I will no longer conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of my mind.” Romans 12:2
Today I can say that I dwell in Freedom and walk in Wholeness living in God’s Grace because I Trusted in Him and His Power.
This verse now speaks to my heart and will be engrained there forever…”For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is a gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9
As I am beginning to learn the Word and how to Walk it out, the meaning and conviction through it is greater than it ever has been for me because I am not learning just one or the other. I know that they must cohesively become One in my life so that I may have the Fullness of God’s Kingdom.
There are So many things that I took away from camp that I would love to share, but, here are some of the major things that have impacted my journey and can hopefully help you wherever you are in yours. Never forget, Jesus LOVES you and Wants a relationship with you no matter what.
LOVE yourself as God LOVES you!
Be open & vulnerable to what God has in store for you. It may be hard and emotional, but will be worth it.
I may not be where I want to be, but I’m not where I used to be.
You can’t tell a good story unless you’re not living a good story. Be Intentional!
“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” Proverbs 11:2
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12
Be humble enough to take risks.
You can’t change what you don’t own.
Grace will see you before judgment finds you.
Destroy Shame and Create Unity.
Faith without works is dead!
Forgiveness shapes your heart.
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive your sins. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15
Here is a video I put together to show you some highlights of the experience at Training Camp for C-Squad (C4). Hope you enjoy!!!
