Yes, Yes…It’s been a while since I have written anything or updated you on what has been going on and I am so sorry. With my computer crashing and then not having wifi, it has been very difficult to post any blogs or updates. And there is SOOOOOO much to catch you up on. God is still moving fast and I am learning and growing rapidly. This has been and is still a year of complete transformation for God’s planting of the foundation for my calling in life.
Where do I even begin? There are so many things to tell you about what I have learned the past couple of months. Do I tell you about how difficult it was to completely surrender to the Lord my desire for marriage to be obedient in following Him, how I have learned to live through the Spirit, the emotional/spiritual health I walk in, silence and solitude I now practice, the vision of how God brought me to the altar and made me his bride, the moment I realized I was walking in total freedom, learning to let go, understanding my love language and others, or Believing in the power of prayer as the answer to everything and actually doing it?
For now, I will tell you about my heart breaking all over again.
Ethiopia was the my favorite and most memorable month yet. I lived on a compound with orphaned children and their house moms. I had a view that was miraculous…just the simplicity of God’s creation. Hills of fields for days with the sound of birds and animals all around, children laughing and of course crying, and the cool breeze from nature.
I have always loved children and knew they were my calling, but I didn’t quite know what and how to work with them the way the Lord had for me. The Lord confirmed it again that I was to “look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” -James 1:27
My heart has changed forever by the Love the Lord has shown me. I have a joy that no one can take away because of His Spirit. I am blessed every month to experience joy in a new way…but this month was different because it was part of a huge desire of my heart. Not only did I bond with one child, but three. I connected with all the children, but three stuck with me.
A particular 3 year old, Tariku, just completely stole my heart with his cool, suave dance moves, constant energy, amazing kisses, and lovable spirit. God gave me him to prove that my heart is ready to adopt. I wasn’t sure in the past if it was something I could actually do, but my heart knows that love conquers all and if I were to adopt a child I would love them like I love Jesus.
Then there was Balcha, who surprised me and attached to me quickly. He has had a very rough life and needs to know and just experience love from others. He needs to know he is protected and can let go and be a kid. His spirit as a big brother to protect his two younger sisters was very similar to how I feel as a big sister. This boy has a huge heart and will be such a testimony to others as he grows up.
And finally there is Muluneh, who is such a gentle soul with the best smile. He desires affection so badly that all he needed was a hug sometimes. He is very smart and such a role model to the little children.
God continues to redeem things in three for me. How blessed was I to not only have one child to connect with and love in a deeper way, but three.
A constant theme for me at Hope Ethiopia was to Rejoice in the Lord Always (Philippians 4:4).
My heart broke in a way leaving Ethiopia that I have never experienced. Mostly because God has restored a new hope and love in my heart that cannot be taken away. I left knowing that God had those children tightly in His arms and had grand plans for their future. My heart was breaking because the love that I now felt was deep in the way a mother feels when she is separated from her children, just as the Father knows when His children separate from him for a while. I knew they were in good hands, but I just wanted to see them, speak to them, hug them, and kiss them every single day. When a day went by, like the day I was in bed sick, and I did not get to see them, my heart felt numb and sad. When I saw their little faces, my heart was restored with a new sense of joy and love.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)
This is the verse that gets me through. Whether it is missing those children, being sick, struggling financially, wanting to be back home, or afraid of the unknown to come, HIS WORD carries me through because only the LORD knows my heart and can “lead me in the way everlasting”.
I will have more updates on what has been going on and all the things I have been learning. Many blogs and videos will come as I return home and will have wifi 🙂
Thank you again for all the support and love by everyone. It has truly meant so much to me and encourages me to keep going.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above.” – James 1:3
