Dear world who so kindly follows my journey through these blogs, I am sorry, once again, for the absence of updates and stories about life right now.
There is a lot going on to say the least, but that is no excuse. Here is a small and over-due look at where I am right now:
We made it to the Philippines. What exactly is the significance of that you may ask? Other than being an incredible tropical Asian paradise and offering a whole new country for us to pour into and serve like crazy, the Philippines is our LAST country before we as Gap H head home to the U-nited Statezzz on May 27 (or sometime around then).
I am sitting in my dingy little apartment listening to my favorite worship music, Phil Wickham’s acoustic album, and trying not to focus on the smell of rotten fish mixed with clogged toilet. Don’t know why it smells like that, but I’ve learned not to ask too many questions. Our “apartment” consists of 1 1/2 rooms of white tile and white walls. One working sink. One plastic table with a few chairs (and that is a straight luxury). One hot plate on the floor for cooking. A toilet that doesn’t consistently flush. Our sleeping matts cluttering the floor. We compare the looks of our cozy little home to an insane asylum. Not joking. It’s our humble little abode, and it keeps us safe and cool, so its wonderful 🙂
Our ministry host is passionate, and I mean PASSIONATE, about martial arts. Our ministry these next 2 months is a blended smoothie of learning martial arts/karate/tae kwon doe/kung fu/ fighting, running a vacation bible school, teaching sunday school (see how that turned out for me in my second “entry” below), trying to figure out what they want us to be doing, and a bunch of other stuff that in all reality seems pointless and tiring. BUT, through this random ministry, I am learning to find my own ways to make an impact and invest in people outside of our normal schedule. I am also (painfully, I might add) learning how to SUBMIT to authority with a good attitude and TRUST that God is making something beautiful out of our seemingly pointless labors. I am learning that we don’t always get to do the “fun” or “meaningful” ministry, and that no matter what we are doing, we still need to pursue it with a full and open heart.
Another part of our ministry is collectively writing a book that Our host is going to publish about our ministry here. Based on how it’s going so far, I will NOT be giving the amazon link it is available for sale on to anyone. Writing a book with 25 young adult authors is nearly impossible. I have no idea how the Bible did it.
But, for what it’s worth, I would like to share with you a bit of my addition to our novel in process. They are 2 short glimpses of 2 short experiences I have had here in my new home.
After only a couple interactions with waiters and taxi drivers, a 28 hour boat ride, and 4 short days in the Philippines, I can say without a doubt that the Filipino people are the most servant-hearted and kind group of people I have ever met.
That’s great! That’s so awesome. I love it. But what I don’t understand is why the rest of the world is not saying that about us Christians.
Why, when we have the most light-bringing God inside our very beings, are we not “the most servant-hearted and kind group of people” the world has ever seen? I don’t feel the need to give synonyms for the word “Christian” that most people come up with when they hear that name. We have all heard them. We all know them. But why are we, the Christians, bringing in so many negative and awful words associated with us instead of good and beautiful words?
It amazes me how the smallest of selfless acts can leave such an impression. I walked up to the line for water on our ferry boat we rode to our island, and simultaneously a boy about my age walked up as well. I looked at my feet, pretending not to notice him. I was thirsty and didn’t think letting him go in front of me would make any sort of impact. Why let myself suffer longer? I was thirsty. And selfish. So me, the Christian, the one who is supposed to be selfless and kind and let the other person go first in line, pretended not to see him. And he, possibly a Christian and quite possibly not, immediately moved aside and let me go first. He didn’t think about how thirsty he was, or how tired of waiting he was, or if serving me would even mean anything, he just stepped aside and motioned for me to go first.
It was just a small act. Nothing monumental or heroic. But heroic acts are sometimes are the smallest, and with that, the most meaningful. And this young man, with his small act of serving, made me re-evaluate my heart as a follower of Jesus because Jesus cares about the small things as much as the big things in life. I realized that as beautiful as it is that the majority of Filipino people are “the most servant-hearted and kind group of people I have ever met”, this should only make us as Christians strive for so much more.
When I hear the story of when Jesus fed the 5,000, I come away remembering the importance of even the smallest of sacrifices. I should not only be serving other Believers to “build up the body of the Church”. I should not only be serving others when I think it will impact them in huge ways. I should not only be serving others when I think it will be an obvious testament to who Jesus is. I should be serving others. Period. End of sentence.
I should be serving others when I don’t think it will make a difference, and when I don’t think they will even notice, and when I don’t think they will even know Jesus was the motivation, and when I am tired, and when I don’t want to, and when I want to be served instead, and when I can’t see how serving them will have any kind of impact at all. I should be serving as Jesus did.
A servant-hearted and kind way of life is not reserved for the Filipino people. It is reserved for all of us, especially us with Christ in us. Filipinos, you inspire me. Your country and your people are shaping me and changing me for the better. Thank you.
Life is about finding the affectionate child with the man-bun amongst all the other shrieking, wild children.
This is the life motto I adopted a few short minutes after leaving Sunshine Baptist Church, where I had been “teaching” sunday school for kids for the past hour. Heading into it, I felt pure confidence. Although I am not “a kids person”, I had several ideas and a bundle of energy, completely ready for the class ahead of me. My plans were soon shattered.
Before our class even started, 10 of the children ran free all around the classroom and everywhere else they possibly could. It was complete chaos to say the least. Screaming, punching, chasing, climbing, falling, poking, crying. Every sound and action the little monsters could make was going on. I did the best I could for a while, trying everything to keep them entertained, but nothing worked. Even the games they suggested lost their attention within the first 30 seconds!
Finally, I decided to just let it happen, realizing I was in no shape or form going to gain any control of this class or be able to teach them much at all. I relaxed a little bit more and resorted to preventing any major injuries or fights.
Then, out of the mayhem and craziness of this tiny, sweltering hot room, he appeared. The cutest and most relaxed little 3 year old I had ever met. He looked like a baby version of a Filipino surfer man. And, he had a little man-bun toddling around on the back of his head. We connected instantly. Not as entertained as the other children by wrestling and yelling, he latched onto my hands and lowered himself to the floor. I held onto him tight, but even if I loosened my grip, he would lean right back and fall to the ground, smirking the whole time. Not running around, not doing anything disruptive, just hanging on my arms in his own little world. His name is Romart.
I held his hand as I forcefully removed a boy from on top of the desk. Then removed him again. And again. And again. Romart and I straightened up the classroom as it got more and more out of hand. We sat by each other while my friend Josiah attempted to read them a kids bible story (it was a fail). When we began watching “Veggie Tales: The Story of Esther”, he climbed up on my lap and wrapped my arms around him, bouncing around to keep himself occupied. Then, at the epitome of our friendship, he had me redo his beautiful little man-bun in his hair. I was honored to say the least.
There was chaos. There was mayhem. No part of the things I had planned came into play. It was loud and I was forcing myself to not count down the minutes until I could leave. But, in the midst of the craziness, there was still a constant, a calming factor, someone to love. Little Romart showed me how no matter how out-of-control the circumstances seem, there will always be a glimmer of pure light. A positive. Jesus will never just leave you out to dry. He always, always puts a little piece of Himself right in the middle of wherever you are at.
Keep your eyes open. Don’t become so focused on the overwhelming situation that you fail to see the joy in that time, even if it is in the form of a small boy with a man-bun.
I’m a hypocrite because I don’t always see the good in situations, but I guess that’s no surprise. Wait, Michelina isn’t perfect?? I know, it IS a bit of a shocker, but I am not, nor even close to, perfect. And I love that about myself. I love that I am not perfect, because in all my mess and imperfections, that is where Jesus gets to come in and show how great He is. As the Instagram caption for the picture that first introduced me to The World Race says, “The world doesn’t need more ‘perfect Christians’. It needs more honest Christians who, in their imperfections, reveal a perfect God.”
Honestly, things kind of suck right now. It’s hard giving all you have to a ministry that isn’t wonderful. Our living conditions are less than desirable. Lots of other stuff isn’t great, and blah blah blah… And I should have a better attitude about it all, but sometimes I don’t. And I am totally ok with that because in my weakness, Jesus has way more of an opportunity to let His beauty shine! I don’t want to be a “perfect Christian”. So I strive to be an honest Christian whose life reveals more of the Lord.
Thanks for reading as much as you did. Thank you for your endless support. I’ll see you all in 2 short months!
With all my love and imperfections, Michelina
