It’s amazing to see God move overtime in our lives….but its even more amazing to see the changes He makes in a second. I want to share with you what God has been doing in my life and especially what He did for me today.
I wanna get real. I wanna let you know that you are NOT alone in the struggle.
Since I was a little girl I was told that I was to be seen and not be heard. This was common throughout my whole life. As I got older, if I talked about things that weren’t particularly important to that specific person I was conversing with, then what I was saying wasn’t important, even though it was very important to me. This in turn made me feel unimportant and rejected. That rejection was so deeply rooted in me, that once I accepted Christ, it carried over into my relationship with Him.
After I accepted Christ, I felt the anger I had been holding onto my whole life just wash away, but then God began to bring to the forefront that I had a deeper issue. He began to show me that the deep seated root of rejection was sprouting doubt in who I was in Him, fear, and insecurities. I was ashamed in what I had done. I was ashamed of how I had treated loved ones. The enemy began to feed me a bunch of lies once again that I wasn’t good enough. That I wasn’t accepted by God because I had messed up even after I had stepped into a relationship with Him. I listened to the lies to the point where I was believing them.
BUT GOD………stepped in the summer of 2015.
He called me out of the lies, He called me out of the pit of despair, He called me to come to the table of intimacy with Him.
I didn’t know what to expect in this year of abandonment, in this year of leaving it all behind, picking up my cross, and following Him. But, He says….
“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,’ says the Lord.” Isaiah 55:8
We are just now completing our first month on the Race and God has already begun to pour out His love and truth on me like the living water that He is.
Here lately I have been stepping out and just sharing my heart. Overcoming the fear of being rejected and letting my teammates see the real me. One of them looked at me today and said these very soul shaking words, “We can sit here and pour out all this love and truth to you but at the end of the day it is up to you to accept them and let them sink in.”
Those words shook me and I realized that God had laid another decision in front of me. He does give us the free will of choice you know. I could either continue to believe and wallow in the lies or I could allow the truth of God to flow in and wash out all of the lies that I had allowed the enemy to pump into me.
So today, I released it all to God, I chose to let Him take it all and let His love wash out the lies. We as a team decided to have a fire and we wrote on pieces of paper all the things we wanted to leave behind. I wrote all my things down. Rejection, fear, doubt, insecurities, comparison to others, being in control, inadequacy, mistrust, lies, what people think of me, not being good enough. All those things they were BURNT today and were laid down at the foot of the cross.
If you allow the enemy an inch, he will take a mile. Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy. (John 10:10) So DO NOT give that to him. Take out your sword, the Word of God, and you slay him right there. Let the Word of God wash your mind of all the lies you have believed. (Romans 12:2)
God has called you to SO much more. You were made for so much more than all of this junk in this world today. Don’t be afraid to step out and let God take the reins. Trust Him! I’m learning that. He loves you and He wants to give you life and life in abundance.. He wants to set you free!!
So let go of your own understanding, spread both arms open wide, and just jump. He will either catch you or teach you how to fly.
